12.08.2008

Drum Roll Please...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm pleased to announce the launch of My Alabaster Box: An Offering Of Incense.

OK, so for now, it's a series of posts on a blog. But when I've got them complete, there will be enough for me to publish. And I can start contacting artists and getting permissions for songs, now, too. And what I'm really launching here is not the series, but the new site.

MyAlabasterBox.Wordpress.Com will be the new home of my blog. As I've said, I'll try to keep things up between both, but the truth is, I'll be looking for an email solution for that (can I send one email to two addresses and have it automagically update both blogs?) so I don't have to actually do what I'm doing now, and physically go to both blogs and enter an update!

Anyway, I'm excited, and I'm looking forward to your comments over on the new site. What are you waiting for? GO! Read! :D

Musical Musing: Deep In Love With You, Micheal W. Smith

Sitting at your feet is where I want to be
I’m home when I am here with you
Ruined by your grace, enamored by your gaze,
I can’t resist the tenderness of you

I’m deep in love with you, Abba Father
I’m deep in love with you, Lord
My heart, it beats for you, Precious Jesus.
I’m deep in love with you, Lord.

Humbled and amazed that you would call my name
I never have to search again
And there’s a deep desire - It’s burning like a fire
To know you as my closest friend

I’m deep in love with you, Abba Father
I’m deep in love with you, Lord
My heart, it beats for you, Precious Jesus.
I’m deep in love with you, Lord.

I’m deep in love with you, Abba Father
I’m deep in love with you, Lord
My heart, it beats for you, Precious Jesus.
I’m deep in love with you, Lord.

You’re golden?, my redeemer
Your blood runs through my veins
My love for you is deeper
Than it was yesterday
I yield? through the curtain
Pardoned by your grace
Oh you’re the lover of my soul
You’re the lover of my soul
I’m deep in love with you, Lord

I’m deep in love with you, Abba Father
I’m deep in love with you, Lord
My heart, it beats for you, Precious Jesus.
I’m deep in love with you, Lord.

I’m deep in love with you, Abba Father
I’m deep in love with you, Lord
My heart, it beats for you, Precious Jesus.
I’m deep in love with you, Lord.

I’m deep in love with you, Abba Father
I’m deep in love with you, Lord
My heart, it beats for you, Precious Jesus.
I’m deep in love with you, Lord.

I’m deep in love with you, Abba Father
I’m deep in love with you, Lord
My heart, it beats for you, Precious Jesus.
I’m deep in love with you, Lord.

I’m deep in love with you, Abba Father
I’m deep in love with you, Lord
My heart, it beats for you, Precious Jesus.
I’m deep in love with you, Lord.

My heart, it beats for you, Abba Father.
I’m deep in love with you, Lord.
My heart, it beats for you, Precious Jesus.
I’m deep in love with you, Lord.

Let me apologize first for the question marked lyrics; no one on the internet that I found had these yet; the album was just released late October/early November (right before I went to Europe, if I remember correctly)… so I was transcribing them as I listened to the song on repeat on my computer. I gave you what I understood… I’m not sure I got them right.

I’m not worried though; the ideas that made me fall in love with this song (even though it is repetitive) are in the first verse and in that repeated verse, not the bridge. It dovetails for me into another song I’ve mused about… Casting Crowns, “Your Love Is Extravagant”. Can you see where the two would remind me of each other?

“Ruined by your grace, enamoured by your gaze, I can’t resist the tenderness of you…”
“Your love is extravagant”

“Sitting at your feet is where I want to be; I’m home when I’m here with you.”
“Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place”

“And there’s a deep desire - It’s burning like a fire - To know you as my closest friend”
“Your friendship, it is intimate”, “You considered me a friend”

“I’m deep in love with you… my heart, it beats for you,”
“Capture my heart again”

Oh, Beloved… I know this isn’t “Christmas” as you normally think of it. I know there is no Santa here, no reindeer, no elves or snow… no magi or shepherds, no virgin or angels… and yet, Beloved, this is why we have Christmas. This is why Christmas is so beautiful and alive for me. This is why I loved The Shack, because you see, Beloved, mine is not an empty religion made up of rote and ritual, but a living relationship, energized by conversation and stunning love. Stunning, I tell you. Do you remember what I said about “extravagant” love in my musing on the Casting Crowns’ song? (look at that! I linked it for you!... but I’ll give you a tidy summary anyway).

Extravagant love “spends much more than is necessary or wise”, it “goes beyond what is deserved or justifiable,” and it “exceeds the bounds of reason”. This is the love that our God pours out on us. Extravagant. Excessive. Beyond what we deserve, beyond what is justified… beyond what is justifiable. God’s Love spent EVERYTHING for us, casting off glory to take up humanity, and all for love of us. Loved that completely, that fully, that… that extravagantly, I am ruined for anything less. Nothing else could compare, and thus God’s love has left me ruined for any other lesser love to try to take His place. It’s like if the first time you ever ate meat, you had the best, most delicious, perfect cut of meat ever… everything else would pale in comparison. Burgers would be nothing… you’d forever be ruined by that ONE cut of meat that defined what meat is supposed to be (I know, really weak example, but how else do I express the idea of being ruined by something so good?)

Beloved, This is Christmas. This is the miracle Emmanuel, God with us. This is the great condescension, God Almighty, the Creator, putting on mortality and coming to earth to woo us and win us back to Himself. This is why I celebrate Christmas… not because a baby was born in a stable, but because of who that baby was. Beloved, that baby was Emmanuel. That was Love enfleshed. That was Extravagant Love, going beyond the bounds of reason or what we deserved, longing only to love us all, longing only to call us His own Beloved.

Did you know that’s why I call you “Beloved”? Because you are. You ARE. Even if you don’t know my Savior yet, even if you’re still skeptical about this Jesus I speak of, even if you doubt how my God could be Good and All-Powerful and I could still have experienced the things I did… Beloved, none of that changes the fact that Jesus came to this earth for YOU. That extravagant love spent itself for YOU. That right now, sitting on the throne of God, the Lamb of God, the Lion of Judah, the Baby we celebrate at Christmas is looking down at you and LOVING YOU more than you can imagine. As I write these words, as you read them, Beloved, He is longing to ruin you with a love that will blow your mind and leave you as enamoured with Him as I am.

And you can take Him all your questions, all your doubts, all your problems. All your whys, or why nots. All of it. Beloved, all He wants is to love you, and for you to learn to love Him back… and until you open the dialogue, until you consent to relationship with Him, He can’t answer your questions, and you can never experience the life-changing love that’s being poured out on you now. I want you to celebrate Christmas with me, Beloved. Won’t you risk knowing my Christ? Isn’t extravagant love and a grace so good it “ruins” you a risk worth taking? You’ll never know unless you try.

12.06.2008

The Shack, by William P Young

(My review for Facebook)
I'm aware that there's controversy, and as I was reading, there were a few places where I could see that someone might have problems. That said, I did not have problems with it. Simply put, this is one of the best books I have ever read in my entire life.
This book discusses the basic structure of man's interaction with God; is it built on rules and limits and religion, on the law the demonstrates where we fall short of the ultimate goal of perfection, or is it, as the author would suggest, about a living, vital relationship with God? Is God a distant ruler aiming to strike us down for our failures, a cold and heartless judge condemning us to hell, or is it possible that God is, as John revealed in his epistle, Love, and moved by love, marked by love, in ways that we cannot even begin to imagine and that shatter our preconceptions, not only of God, but of what we are to be if we are to be called adopted sons and daughters of God?
If this book serves to call men and women into a deeper, truer relationship with their Savior, with the Lover of their Souls, with the Abba Father who loves us enough to create us knowing what it would cost... surely there is value in this book.
I know that the many tears I cried were bottled as I read, and I know that they will fertilize more rich growth in the garden God continues to cultivate in my soul.

I want to make it clear that while there are things in this book that I can't speak to theologically (the gender of God, for instance), I'm willing to dismiss them as creative license to accomplish the larger goal of giving the author a structure into which to write this discussion with God.
The core of the discussion? I have no problem with that. I can't tell you how many times I cried, but I'll tell you there was at least one time that I fell apart, sobbing, and had to wait for the tears to clear before I could continue (page 173)(I don't want to say too much lest I spoil things for those who haven't read the book).
God loves you. Desperately. God LONGS for a relationship with you... as I've seen before, "God thinks you're to DIE for." I know that's hard to wrap your mind around, and if you're asking "But what about the bad things?!"... you need to read this book.

Beloved, I've lived the bad things in life. I was raped repeatedly from the time I was 10 until I was 13. I was abused emotionally and physically by my mother and convinced myself that she couldn't love me... which meant I couldn't be loved. At all. By anyone. My father died in a car accident when I was 17. I can't have children. I've got a litany of reasons to doubt God's goodness or God's love... but I don't. I don't doubt God's love for me. I cling to it like an anchor in the storm. This book is the closest I've ever found to explaining how it is that I can find God still Good and Merciful and worth Loving (and all powerful) in the face of all the evil in this world (even in my life).

Seriously. This may be one of my new favorites EVER, and I hope to spend a good deal of time dissecting it and finding the places in Scripture that illustrate the soul-changing, life-filling, joy-giving power discussed in this tiny little read. If you haven't yet, pick this one up.

12.05.2008

Christmas Carol #3 Breath of Heaven

I have traveled many moonless nights,
Cold and weary with a babe inside,
And I wonder what I’ve done.
Holy father you have come,
And chosen me now to carry your son.

I am waiting in a silent prayer.
I am frightened by the load I bear.
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now.
Be with me now.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.

Do you wonder as you watch my face,
If a wiser one should have had my place,
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan.
Help me be strong.
Help me be.
Help me.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.
I sang this song in church once, frightened that I would go off-key somewhere, but so awed by the beauty of the song that I longed to share it. And it seems fitting, having discussed the ordinary nature of who Joseph and Mary were, having thought of what Joseph might have been thinking as he held the tiny Son of God in his arms, that perhaps I should consider the young Mary next.
As I said in the last musing (On “Strange Way to Save The World”), Mary is certainly a very young woman. While she’s been raised to this life, expecting to be a mother at so tender an age, surely she never expected so… challenging? daunting? awesome? a charge as her own Savior. And she certainly didn’t expect to come into motherhood before she was a bride, with reason to fear for her or her son’s life because of the law she’d been raised with and obedient to so long. Surely in the long months before Jesus’ birth there were whispers… even if Joseph married her before her pregnancy showed, people would wonder at the sudden rush and the quick blossom of life.
But our Lord did not leave her alone in the midst of this. Though it would have been difficult to tell right away that she was pregnant (no EPT then, folks) the truth of the prophecy was proven as soon as she ran to Elizabeth, who was, as the angel had told her, 6 months pregnant. Indeed, the reaction of Elizabeth’s child to the unborn Savior carried by Mary told Elizabeth immediately that this was indeed no ordinary child. The two women stayed together for an undisclosed time, but it is likely that by the time Mary went home, Elizabeth was close to delivering her son, and Mary was certain of her own pregnancy.
I’ve never been pregnant. I’ve wanted it, desperately, even when I was afraid because of what seemed like poor timing, but I’ve never known what it’s like to be pregnant. I helped raise my sister, I’ve watched others go through pregnancy, and I’ve watched as my sisters and brother in law are raising their collective 12 (nearly 13 children, when the sister I helped raise has hers this coming spring). So I’ll admit that I can only surmise at the rush of emotions that Mary might have felt. But you, Beloved reader, perhaps you’ve been pregnant. Or your wife has. Or maybe, like me, you’ve had to live vicariously through loved ones… But surely young Mary experienced many of the same fears and joys you felt…
Dread… I’m pregnant. How will my partner/husband react? What will our families say?
Fear… this is her first child; Will it hurt? Will I be able to bear it? Will I survive it (A far bigger concern in her time than for us now, granted, but still)? I’m going to be a mother. Me. What if he falls down? What if I drop him? What if he hurts himself? What in my life shows that I’m even qualified to be a mother… much less mother to the Son of the Most High?!
Awe… This is life, growing within me! This is a miracle, and every day He is grows larger and stronger and closer to entering this life! This… This is the Son of the Most High!
Joy… Feel that? He moved! He kicked! He’s alive in there, well and strong! I’m going to be a mother! I will hold Him soon…
So many things, so many more than even other mothers felt. Did she feel a special burden because of who this child was? Did she fear her mistakes more than others might, because of who this child was? How much did her son’s unique identity shape her reactions during her pregnancy, or did God grant her a special grace as she carried God incarnate, the Word made flesh? (I have friends who debate whether or not she suffered labor pains! I can’t answer that one!!)
I think all of these thoughts, all of these questions, are why I love this song. It’s so intimate… almost as though we’re eavesdropping on Mary’s prayer in the last hours as she travels to Bethlehem where she will deliver her son. We get a glimpse of the humanity that surrounds Jesus, of the ordinariness of the woman God chose to deliver Grace enfleshed.

My Catholic friends, please forgive me if it seems I make Mary too human. Yes, she is one of my heroes of the faith, like Peter and Paul… but what makes her heroic to me is her very humanity. It is the fact that she is so like me, so like my sisters, so like any other woman who could have lived, who has lived… but her life is so marked by the undeniable Grace of God that she is forever changed, forever marked by it. She is an Everywoman, a promise of what we can be if only we would trust in our Lord… not that we could give birth to our Savior, but that we could have an intimate, loving, personal relationship with him. She was the first to know the New Testament Christ, the revelation of God as personal and relational, as approachable, as fully God and fully Man… and it is that aspect of her life that marks her as remarkable to me, just as it is Peter’s rash foolishness and quick temper that highlight his humanity before God changes him and makes him a mighty man of Faith, or Paul, who has a murderous zeal for the law before meeting Christ and learning to see in a new way. It is the humanity of Mary and Joseph in these first moments that awe me; how great the grace of God that is poured over them to bear these unprecedented remarkable events.
You see, Beloved, seeing Mary as human, seeing Joseph as human, remembering that they were ordinary people… well, it gives me hope. No matter what I face in life… well, if God can grant ordinary men and women enough grace to get through 9 months of an unplanned pregnancy, a birth in a barn, and all that would follow… surely there is grace enough for what I must face.
As Mary sings “Breath of Heaven, hold me together…” I can sing it, with the confidence that the Breath of Heaven will indeed hold me together, that just as she was not alone 2000 years ago, neither am I tonight. Christmas, Beloved, Christmas is about hope and the faith to carry on when it seems you can’t. Surely that is worth celebrating?
Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.

12.04.2008

Christmas Carol #2: Strange Way To Save The World

Sure he must have been surprised
At where this road had taken him
'Cause never in a million lives
Would he had dreamed of Bethlehem
And standing at the manger
He saw with his own eyes
The message from the angel come to life
And Joseph said...

Why me, I'm just a simple man of trade
Why Him, with all the rulers in the world
Why here inside this stable filled with hay
Why her, she's just an ordinary girl
Now I'm not one to second guess what angels have to say
But this is such a strange way to save the world

To think of how it could have been
If Jesus had come as He deserved
There would have been no Bethlehem
No lowly shepherds at His birth
But Joseph knew the reason
Love had to reach so far
And as he held the Savior in his arms
He must have thought...

Why me, I'm just a simple man of trade
Why Him, with all the rulers in the world
Why here inside this stable filled with hay
Why her, she's just an ordinary girl
Now I'm not one to second guess what angels have to say
But this is such a strange way to save the world

Now I'm not one to second guess what angels have to say
But this is such a strange way to save the world
...this is such a strange way, such a strange way,
a strange way to save the world

You may have guessed from my first entry in this “Christmas Carol Musings” series, that my favorite carols are the ones that point to the grander purpose of Christmas. If you’re familiar with “Christian” music, you may even know this song (and folks from Rejoice/Owasso/Tulsa, if you haven’t picked up “Owasso Sings Christmas” yet, with Janettia Alexander singing this offering, you’re missing out… call Rejoice to find out how you can get your copy of this awesome album (and no, I’m not on it, I just heart it!)), but for those readers who’ve never heard it, this is a new one.

This time, I don’t have to define terms for you, but I do want to give you the Christmas story, because that’s the story this song assumes you know already. If you’ve heard this story all your life, read along with me anyway… try to rediscover the wonder you felt the first time you heard it, or the first time you heard it once you knew what it meant. If this is the first time you’ve heard this story, it’s told in the Bible in several places. I’d recommend reading the entire thing, but to get just the meat for this story, you’re going to go back to Luke 1:26-38, Luke 2:1-20, and Matthew 1:18-2:12.
Mary was a young girl; keep in mind that in the first century, life spans were significantly shorter than ours are now, and customs were different, not just because of the time, but because Mary and Joseph would have been good Jewish men and women, raised obediently in the law of Moses. Joseph would have been raised and educated as long as his parents could afford, and at 13, he’d have been apprenticed to a master tradesman… possibly his own father. By 13, though, Joseph was considered an adult, responsible for himself and his actions. He would have continued to work with his master (not as a slave, but an apprentice, remember), learning the trade, until he was able to work on his own and support himself and his family. Chances are good that his parents and Mary’s parents had pre-arranged the marriage years before the two of them knew the other existed. Once Joseph could care for Mary, the betrothal, this pre-arranged marriage, that had been planned would move to an engagement and then marriage… but this arrangement was so binding that the only way it could be broken was through the same mechanisms in place to divorce a wife… and in ancient Jewish law, divorce was not easy. So Joseph was almost certainly 7-10 (or more) years older than Mary, and Mary was little more than 13-15 herself. After all, if she didn’t die in childbirth, odds were that disease would take her before she saw 40; if she was to bear the sons and daughters that the couple would need to support them and their family (because that was the custom), they had to start as soon as she was able to… which meant she entered married life as an adult about the same age that Joseph was considered an adult.

So we have a 13? 14? year old girl who’s still living at home with her parents, a devout girl who’s been raised in observance of the law of Moses just as her culture and religion demands, and is waiting to be married to her husband, a man to whom she is bound, if not yet legally married. One day, as she’s going about the daily tasks she does… helping her mother with the cooking, cleaning, maybe making clothes… suddenly, an angel appears and speaks to her, saying odd things to her: “Greetings, favored one. The Lord is with you.”

Mary is rightly confused; it’s not every day that people just appear out of nowhere, and what an odd greeting! Even in her religion, this is odd; God has not spoken to their people for hundreds of years! But the angel continues. “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. (You’ve pleased Him!) You will be with child, and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High.” (italics mine). Mary, ever the wise one, asks the angel how this is supposed to happen; she knows where babies come from, and she’s not done anything that would bring one! This is important to her; even the hint of impropriety is enough for an accusation of infidelity, is enough to give Joseph cause to divorce Mary… and worse, to have her stoned to death.

The angel assures Mary again, telling her that the Holy Spirit will come upon her and she will be “overshadowed” with the power of the Most High so that the one who will be born will be called the Son of God. Then he tells her something that might seem a bit gossipy if you didn’t know better; “Even your cousin, who has been barren (unable to have children) is in her sixth month… because Nothing is impossible with God.”

The tidbit about Elizabeth might seem gossipy because for a woman of her advanced years who has never conceived to suddenly turn up pregnant is certainly grounds for scandal. Remember… even the hint of impropriety is enough to give grounds for a divorce, or a stoning. But as he tells Mary that she will carry the Son of the Most High, he also tells her she isn’t alone… “Oh, Beloved of God, even your cousin has conceived through the power of God!”… and Mary runs to her cousin.

OK, so where is Joseph in all of this? Especially when Mary runs off to her cousin and comes back obviously pregnant, and he knows the baby is not his? We go to Matthew to find out. Joseph is clearly a good man; he could have had Mary and her unborn child stoned, but he opts instead to find away to quietly divorce her to minimize the shame to them both. Before he can carry out his plan, an angel comes to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel says, “do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because He will save his people from their sins.” This clearly had an impact; when Joseph wakes up, he goes and gets Mary and marries her, but does not share her bed until after the birth of the child.

So here we are; an ordinary man and a young woman. Good people, yes, smart with sensible heads on their shoulders, but open to the extraordinary of their faith. And Joseph, having been raised and educated in the Jewish faith, would have been taught the Psalms… including the ones of the Messiah, the anointed one of Israel, who would save the people from their sins. And we know Mary considered these things; we’re told she “treasured these things up in her heart”. They’re trying to live quiet, ordinary lives when the extraordinary steps in and interrupts. And then, because they haven’t been shaken up enough, the occupying government of their home interrupts their lives again. The government wants to take a census… and it wants everyone to go back to their ancestral homes. Joseph, who has been living in Nazareth, who has probably been a Nazarene his entire life, suddenly has to go to his ancestral home… to a tiny little town called Bethlehem.

Can you imagine if you were suddenly told you had to report for a census, not based on where you live now, but based on where your ancestors were from? Could the towns handle the sudden influx of people? And poor Joseph and Mary; others could travel faster, but they were limited because she was so close to her delivery. There was no hopping on a jet and flying there… no, they had to walk or ride an animal the entire way. They were late arrivals, and by the time they got to the town, it was full. Surely they knew it was close… Mary was probably experiencing labor pains by now. They were at the point that Joseph was begging for ANYWHERE safe to take his poor wife to deliver her child… and one man finally offered his stables.

It is here that the greatest gift God ever gave us arrived. In a stable filled with hay for bedding and eating, a young girl gave birth to the child who would grow up to die for her sins. And the first people to arrive? Shepherds. Outcasts of society, with only their flocks for company, sent by… yeah, you guessed it, more angels.

So this is the story the song assumes you know. The Creator of the Universe, the Son of the Most High God, Christ, the Anointed Messiah, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the Beginning and End… is born in a cramped stable in a tiny town to a young girl and her poor husband, surrounded by animals and hay, and visited first by society’s outcasts. If you and I were to write the story of a Savior, it would never start this way. He would arrive in a clean hospital, the son of royalty or socialites. His first visitors wouldn’t be stinking shepherds, and certainly not animals, and his room would be sterile, not surrounded in hay. He’d be born in New York or London or Paris or something… a big city with all the best equipment. We’d never bring the Savior this way… which is why we’d get it wrong. This is indeed a strange way to save the world, but it was the ONLY way it could be done. He had to be the least of us to know our suffering and to be approachable by all men. Because you see, Beloved, Jesus didn’t come just for the rich. He came for you and I, for Mary and for Joseph, for the stinky shepherds, and even for all of those who reject Him.

I know the reason Love has to reach so far, and I thank God that Joseph got to hold His savior in His arms and marvel at this beautiful, ugly, stunning strange way that my God came to save the world.

12.02.2008

Christmas Carol Musing: December 2, 2008

What child is this, who, laid to rest
On Mary's lap, is sleeping?
Whom angels greet with anthems sweet,
While shepherds watch are keeping?

This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and angels sing:
Haste, haste to bring him laud,
The Babe, the Son of Mary!

Why lies he in such mean estate
Where ox and ass are feeding?
Good Christian, fear, for sinners here,
The silent Word is pleading.

This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and angels sing:
Haste, haste to bring him laud,
The Babe, the Son of Mary!

So bring Him incense, gold, and myrrh,
Come peasant, king to own Him,
The King of kings salvation brings,
Let loving hearts enthrone Him.

Raise, raise the song on high,
The Virgin sings her lullaby:
Joy, joy, for Christ is born,
The Babe, the Son of Mary!

I think it’s fitting to start this new series with the carol/hymn that was playing when the idea struck me, the one that has brought me to tears this year as I think about the import of the words being sung, one of the only ones I could “play” on the “play by LED” keyboards I had as a child (though it was listed there by the melody’s older, secular name, “Greensleeves”).
I think I want to start by defining terms; if you didn’t grow up in the church, you may not know what all of these words mean (if you even knew the carol set to this tune).
The first word that I want to define, the first one that might raise an eyebrow, is “laud”… what is “laud”, and why should we “haste” to bring it to a baby? Dictionary.com defines it as a song or hymn of praise. When it is used as a verb, it means to praise. Something that is laudable is praise worthy. The carol calls us to hurry to the child that we might offer praise. Why should we offer it to a Baby? I’ll get to that in a bit, when I define what “Christ” means… but first-
What does “mean estate” mean? If you’ve ever been in a barn filled with animals, you might have an idea… while there are some who find the smell of horses and cattle familiar and pleasant, I’m not sure that anyone would disagree with me when I say that perhaps, being born and spending the first hours of your life in a barn filled with animals is not exactly ideal for any child (though it’s certainly better than being born in the street… at least it was dry and relatively warm). When you consider who this child is, it’s certainly not the birth you’d expect… but even without that consideration, the conditions into which the Babe, the Son of Mary, was born, were certainly meager. They were, as Dictionary.com defines mean, ignoble, inferior in status, rank & dignity, unimposing & shabby.
What about incense, gold, & myrrh? Well, over the course of the next few weeks, I’ll discuss more about these traditional gifts given to the child (and the fact that the number of gifts given is where we get our idea of how many wisemen or kings came, though that number is never actually established, and could have been as few as two, or far more). But for tonight, I want to remind you that this was a child they were visiting, one who was presumably the first son of a poor carpenter and his betrothed young bride (who, according to all the gossip in their home town, had conceived him out of wedlock, and not to her new groom!)… since when do perfumes (incense), money (gold), and funeral ointments (myrrh) make an appropriate gift for a baby born in a stable? (OK, maybe the perfumes helped with the smells of the stables, but that’s hardly a normal baby shower present, is it?).
Actually, though, the gifts make sense when you know who this baby is. They hint at the arrival we’d think He deserved, at the gifts one would make to a person of His stature, and at the sacrifice He was born to make, but that none of them could understand or imagine. The gifts make sense when you understand that this baby, this tiny Son of Mary, was born to be praised, because we don’t know Him for His mother, but for His Father, who was no meager carpenter.
You see, we say “Jesus Christ” as though “Christ” was his last name or something… but in truth, “Christ” is a title, like “King” or “Master”, or even better, “Messiah”... the Anointed One. To call Jesus “Christ” is to address him as Messiah, as the Anointed One of God. It identifies Him as the fulfillment of the Messianic prophecies, the One King of Israel Anointed by God, who will save His people from their sins.
This, Beloved, is not just another Baby. This Baby is unlike any baby that was ever born before Him or since Him… and Christmas is CHRISTmas because it is a celebration of the Christ, the Anointed One who was born to die, the Creator who came to earth to redeem His creation to Himself.
This, Beloved, this is why we hasten to bring him praise. This is why we wonder at why He, of all the babies to ever be born, is born in stable around animals, why we marvel at the angels who sing of His birth and the lowly shepherds who came to meet Him first. This, Beloved, is why we sing for Joy… and why funeral ointments were a fitting gift for this singular child. Because without His death 33 years later on a Roman cross, a righteous, holy man dying in the place of the sinners, the ultimate scapegoat, the Lamb of God whose blood would mark the ultimate “Pass-Over”… without the death for which He’d need the funeral ointments, the perfumes to mask the stench of death, without that, this is just another baby, precious to His parents, but unremarkable otherwise in history. And without His resurrection, Beloved, we have no hope. Christmas is remarkable not because a baby was born, but because the Christ, the Anointed one, The Messiah, had finally come.
What child is this?
This is Christ, the King
Crucified before the foundation of the world,
To win you and I back to Himself.
And that, Beloved, is why I celebrate Christmas.
I’ll see you tomorrow with another carol.

12.01.2008

New "Series"

By the time I got the idea for this series, I was away from my laptop, and this is the first I've gotten back to it, and we'll be going to bed as soon as this weird trippy video is over... but I have an idea for a new series of Musical Musings, and I'll try to start them tomorrow when I'm in the office. So keep your eyes peeled for Musings inspired by the holidays, and meditations on what Christmas is really all about for me.

11.18.2008

"Recipe" Time...

OK, I can barely call these recipes. I freely admit that when I get in the kitchen, I look at what I have and bluff. Fortunately, that often results in yummy food. My most recent bluffs:

Last night's Chicken.
3 boneless skinless chicken breasts (about a pound)*
1 Shallot, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon butter
1 teaspoon lemon juice*
1 tablespoon olive oil*
4 small sprigs fresh rosemary*, chopped

I keep fresh rosemary growing on my window sill. I peeled off 4 little sprigs... about 10-12 leaves, and roughly chopped them with my knife. The liquid measures of lemon juice & olive oil are guesstimates; I swirled in olive oil to go with the butter, and squirted in some prepared lemon juice from one of those plastic lemons. And while I used chicken breasts, you can certainly use tenderloins or thighs or whatever meat works for you. I imagine this would go well with pork or a nice whitefish, too. Shallots are usually near the onions... they're sort of the cousin of garlic & onions... they're more like onions than garlic, but they're small and they've got a little different flavor.

Cook everything BUT the chicken until the butter is melted (you want the flavor of the aromatics (all those herbs and the juice and stuff) to mix before adding the chicken). Add the chicken, cook covered on low heat, turning until chicken is cooked through. (Actually, John did the actual cooking; I'd bought a huge package of chicken and was splitting the boneless breast halves and then separating the big package into sizes we'd actually use.)

This was super easy and took little if any extra seasoning. :D

SOS & Taco Meat.
You get these together because they started together.
I browned a pound of ground sirloin & a pound of turkey breakfast sausage with some fresh cracked black pepper and cumin (maybe a 1/2 tablespoon? each). This was way more meat than I needed for my SOS, so I pulled out a storage bowl. Into the bowl went more cumin, chili powder, some boutique "Trail Dust Seasoning" (himtnjerky.com), and just the barest hint of cayenne, and a little more pepper... just stuff that made it smell "taco-y" When the meat was browned, I drained it off and put half of it in with the seasoning and shook to coat. Will use the taco meat tonight in nachos or tacos or some similar application of tortillas, meat, & cheese. The SOS was continued by adding 3 cups of water to the pan I'd cooked the meat in & bringing to a boil. I mixed 1.5 cups of pioneer country gravy mix with 1 cup of milk until blended and then added this to the boiling water. I peppered to taste (my tastes are less peppered than John's, and more than the gravy comes, so probably a tablespoon or 2) and then added the remaining meat. Mix well & serve over toast. This still left enough SOS to serve over toast (or potatoes) for another meal for the two of us... so John may have that for lunch tomorrow, or maybe I'll take some for lunch.


Cooking is only as hard as you make it. If you can figure out what things will pair well (watching other cooks helps you learn that) then you can add flavor as you subtract fat and make yummy food.

It's worth noting I couldn't give you nutritional values for any of this. Anyone who wants to look them up and report back is welcome to.

10.04.2008

Musical Musing: Sing Alleluia, Jennifer Knapp & Mac Powell, City On Hill

Now playing: Jennifer Knapp/Mac Powell - Sing Alleluia
via FoxyTunes
----------------
All creatures of our God and King
Lift up your voice and with us sing
Sun, moon and stars rejoice on high
Praise to the Lord of light divine

Sing alleluia, sing alleluia
Praise the Father above
Sing alleluia
Sing alleluia, sing alleluia
For His infinite love
Sing alleluia

Praise to the Giver of good things
Merciful Father, holy King
Join with the angels, sing out loud
Praise Him who reigns above the clouds

Sing alleluia, sing alleluia
Praise the Father above
Sing alleluia
Sing alleluia, sing alleluia
For His infinite love
Sing alleluia

O praise Him (when the morning comes)
Alleluia (for the rising sun)
O praise Him (when the day is done)
Alleluia (praise the Lord of love)
O praise Him (alleluia)
Alleluia (alleluia)

All creatures of our God and King
Lift up your voice and with us sing!

Sing alleluia, sing alleluia
Praise the Father above
Sing alleluia
Sing alleluia, sing alleluia
For His infinite love
Sing alleluia

Sing alleluia, sing alleluia
Praise the Father above
Sing alleluia
Sing alleluia, sing alleluia
For His infinite love
Sing alleluia

OK, so maybe I’m a little slow on this one. I’ll grant that. I tend to be rather stubborn and bull-headed and have to learn things the hard way… I may joke that God has a high holy 2x4 in heaven with a Heather shaped dent in it, but it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if it were true… that it takes that much to hammer through my thick head and get through to me. So if the following seems like old news to you, I apologise. Try not to yawn too much… try remembering how it felt for you the day it was first made real to you, the day it burst forth in your soul the way it is in mine today (so much that even though I was driving to the gym, I had to leave myself a voice message and call my parents to have them email me so I’d remember to write about it once I finished my workout) and enjoy it vicariously.

If you’ve been reading my blog with any regularity, if you’ve read much of my work, or know me well at all, then you know that I’ve not exactly had a cakewalk for life. There have been plenty of nights when I’ve had more than enough reason to cry myself to sleep, more than enough anxieties and worries to fray my mind and wear at my strength, more than enough reasonable excuses to unwind my sanity and sink into the relatively safe blanket of catatonia. And yes, there have been many nights that I’ve cried myself to sleep, many days lost to anxieties and worries, and even a few times I’ve reached for escape.

What I’ve learned in the past 30 years, and more acutely in the past 10 than in the previous 20 before those, is how to soothe my savage breast. I’ve learned, when the heartache threatens to crush me, how to throw out a life-line to sanity and hope and cling through the worst storms my life can throw me. I’ve learned, when stress tries to cut me down, how to crawl away from it until I can soar free of it. I’ve found the secret that comforts my broken heart when I’m crying at night, when I’m fearful in the day, when I’m stressed, or yes, even when I’m driving (probably too fast, though I’m trying to do better about that).

I listen to, and unashamedly sing along with (though sometimes silently) praise music. It’s how you get these Musical Musings, big surprise. I play the songs over and over and over again, sometimes on repeat, sometimes in shuffle, and sometimes, it’s just me trying to sing the songs I’ve sung before, silently because I can’t sing aloud (try it in an MRI machine sometime… until the machine gets so loud that you can’t hear yourself thinking inside your own head, it’s a pretty nifty calming technique!) for whatever reason.

So what, you may be asking yourself. Why would it matter? Well, for a long time, I thought it was as simple as the fact that when I turned my focus from myself to my Saviour, then it was harder to wallow in sorrow. But… how is praise music able to break that hold when nothing else does? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love the Beatles, but John, Paul, Ringo and George were never able to break me out of a funk the way Third Day or Nichole Nordeman can. I’d never given it much thought.

Until tonight, that is. As I drove the short distance to the Y, with my obligatory praise mix-CD in the car stereo (yes, you do want that playing… I’m more patient, thoughtful, and kind a driver when my mood is tempered by music that reminds me I’ve been bought for a very dear price), “Sing Alleluia” came on. Now, I’ve had this CD for years now… I’ve listened to this song hundreds of times, I’m sure. I’ve sung with it, I’ve loved it, the call the worship within its words, the way it’s almost a doxology. But something about it hit me tonight, and I finally understood something about the mystery of Praising God that I’ve never understood before.

You see, God doesn’t give us commands or rules for empty reasons. Every law He ever handed down was put into place to protect or preserve us somehow, to teach us about who He is, His nature… but also as a loving Father, an adoring husband… (yes, I know, that’s really weird. I’m looking forward to eternity so He can explain THAT one to me). For instance… Men, you may want to close your eyes for this, but if you’ll bear with me, I do have a point…

In the Old Testament, God instructs that male infants be circumcised on the 8th day after birth. Stop squirming and keep reading. At the time, the procedure would help provide the people with the cleanliness they needed to stay healthy. But then why wait? Why not just do it right away, before the Baby knows what’s really going on, while the trauma of birth is still fresh enough to cover everything else? A newborn doesn’t have a fully developed immune system. His immunities have been completely dependent upon his mother’s blood supply until birth. He’s not making his own antibodies yet (neither are girl babies, but this is a procedure done on males, so we’re sticking with the male pronoun) because he hasn’t had to yet. For the first few days after his birth, he’s still totally dependent upon his mother for antibodies and immunities. But, cut off from her blood supply, how is she to provide him with what he needs? Every time her tender love and nurturing instincts cause her to kiss him, she picks up all of the microbes on his body. Her body, with a mature, fully functioning immune system, makes the antibodies to fight the very bugs she’s picked up by kissing her son, and then supplies them to him in her breast milk. It’s an amazing thing, really. And by the time her son is 8 days old, all the constant feeding, all the kisses and the passed antibodies, all the time he’s had gives him the time to build an immune system of his own. If the procedure were done before he was 8 days old, the risk of him developing an infection is too high. If it’s done after that, the risk that he’ll remember it, remember the pain goes up. God gives a rule to protect his people, giving what seems an esoteric time demand on it, and all the time, there’s protection in it.

Praise is the same way. No, it’s not a surgical procedure, not quite. But it is a command that we’re given, and I’m coming to believe that, while it is hugely beneficial to God, it is of far far greater benefit to us. If you want to dispute the claim that it’s a command, just do a concordance or word study… see how many times the word “praise” shows up in the Bible. Seriously. Boggles the mind. But while we are certainly told to praise God because He is more than worthy of our praise, as creator, as God, as Saviour, as Judge… for all the wonderful reasons I’ve listed and all the ones I will ever list, there’s something else at work.

Psalm 22:3 tells us that God is enthroned in our praise. Other translations say that He inhabits our praise. Stop and think about that for a moment. God almighty, who is so big that even heaven can’t contain Him (1Kings 8:27) LIVES in our praise.

When I am afraid, and I sing myself to sleep, my God, the All Mighty, is LIVING in the praises I sing to Him. He is with me.

When I am lost, heartbroken and utterly alone, and I sing praise songs silently in my head, my God, the Comforter that my Saviour promised me, is LIVING in the praises I sing to Him. He is with me.

When I am in my car, trying to obey the speed limit, and a song comes on my cd player, and I sing absently until the thoughts seize my mind and I am thrilled again, my God, my Beloved who gave up Heaven to redeem me to Himself, makes my song HIS THRONE. He is with me.

God. Inhabits. My praise. Immanuel. God WITH us.

Are you stunned yet? Because as awesome a thought as that was, it got better.

You see, Beloved, the reason I’m not afraid when I sing praise? It’s not just because I take the focus off my own temporary, limited view (though that certainly helps) and my own pithy problems. It’s because GOD inhabits my praise… And Beloved… Where God is, there is no mourning, there is no sorrow, there is no death. There is only JOY. Joy. Pure, unadulterated Joy. God commands us to praise Him because He know it will plug into the source of life, of love, of joy… it will plug us into Him!

Revelation 21:1-7 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son…”

Isaiah 44:23 Sing for joy, O heavens, for the LORD has done this; shout aloud, O earth beneath. Burst into song, you mountains, you forests and all your trees, for the LORD has redeemed Jacob, he displays his glory in Israel.

Isaiah 51:11 The ransomed of the LORD will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Zephaniah 3:17 “The LORD your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

Beloved, I will sing. I will sing, because when I sing, God Himself is with me, enthroned upon my praise, rejoicing with me, singing with me, delighting in me, quieting my fears and anxieties with His love. Sing with me, Beloved, sing with me, and experience the miracle of Immanuel!

8.03.2008

Musical Musing: Beyond The Cross

Beyond The Cross
Beyond the cross, beyond the grave
There is a hope for those Christ came to save
He bled and died, He paid the cost
To free us from the chains of death
And give us life beyond the cross

I wanted to give you that chorus, because it’s what drove me from my seat this morning in church (yup, I even get Musical Musings in the middle of church). You might be sitting there and going “yeah yeah, eternal life because of what Christ did on the cross, does me good when I die, but what about now?!” Ah, see, that’s a misunderstanding of the word “eternal”. You see, we can remember that eternal doesn’t have an end, but we forget that the very nature of “eternal” means there’s no beginning, either. Dictionary.com defines eternal as “without beginning or end” and “perpetual” and “immutable” (immutable means changeless, don’t worry, I had to look it up, too). You see, Beloved, eternal life isn’t something that begins with our death. It’s more than just “life after death”… eternal life is here and now and available for you to enjoy.

Now, I’m not saying that we won’t die if we enjoy eternal life now. The fact of the matter is that our bodies are broken and are forever ticking away towards death. It’s as inescapable as taxes. This body is locked into time, and yes, your body will die. It’s why your grandparents died, you parents will die, your pets will die, and yes, even your children. It’s not pretty, but from the moment our cells join and begin to form us, we already have within us the stopwatch on our lives (study telomeres… even cloning can’t extend them!)

What I’m saying is that we are more than this body, and just as we are more than the bodies we inhabit, so too is there more to this life than the limits of time. That’s where “eternal” life now comes in. Living the eternal life while you’re still, well, alive, isn’t about being immortal, but about living life fully and freely. It’s about abundance, about plugging into the Source of our life and our joy and finding that there is hope and life beyond the salvation we find in the cross.
In John, (and I mean the gospel, not my husband), we are told that “Christ came to give us life, and give it to us abundantly” or “to the full measure”. In Ezekiel, God says that it gives Him no pleasure that any should die, pleading with His people that they would live. Psalm 16 tells us that God makes known the path of life, filling us with joy. Eternal life is about life after this one, but more than that, it’s about a difference in THIS life, here and now.

That’s what stopped me in the song. It’s not that this is a new idea to me; I went through training that taught me that eternal is eternal in the hereafter, but it’s abundant life in the here and now, showing me the scriptures that promise that (and more than just the ones I listed above). But it’s so easy to forget that our faith is meant to do more than just secure our eternal future. The cross isn’t just about giving me fire insurance to keep me from hell. No, the power of what Christ accomplished on the cross (and it wasn’t the cross, in and of itself that has any power, but rather that Eternal God limited himself and condescended to bring us back into relationship with Him, so that the cross is the symbol, but not the Thing itself) is available in every minute of every day.

I’ve talked before about joy, and rejoicing and the ladies in the office with me (who don’t quite know what to do with me when I get exuberant and excitable) notice it in me. I’ve learned that joy is something precious, to be savored and, well, enjoyed, whenever possible (it’s possible I’m rather hedonistic, just not nihilistic… I’m such an odd duck). I grab hold of the small joys in life, and then when the big ones come along, I’m practiced in finding joy, in experiencing it, in reveling in it. There is a joy in the smell of your favorite flower, or your favorite food. There is joy in drawing a breath unimpeded by illness or unpleasant odors. There is joy in watching a child discover the world around them. There is joy, Beloved, in every aspect of your life, waiting for you to find it.

And that, I think, is part of the abundant life that Christ promised beyond the cross. You see, I can hope that I will have a life after I die, but more than that, I can hope that no matter what I’m experiencing, there’s a reason and a purpose being accomplished. I can hope that the greatest sorrows will be redeemed and used to improve the lives of others. I can hope that nothing will be wasted in this life. I can hope that when I wake up tomorrow, I will find a new someone with whom to share life, I will find a new way to speak life into someone. I can have a hope that my everyday has meaning beyond the doldrums of daily life. And yes, that gives me joy.

You see, Beloved, we have a life after death. But beyond that, we can have life NOW. What’s the point of living every day hoping that we’ll die and get to heaven, if we can’t enjoy the days we’re given here? What’s the point of eternal life if it is empty, meaningless, and joyless?

I serve a God who loves children, who smiled with children. I serve a Creator who created a stunningly beautiful world. I serve a God who delights in His creation. I serve a God who knows that Life is meant to be lived. If you don’t know my Jesus, the Jesus who came to the cross for you, not just for some someday off in the future, but for today, for right now, for this moment you’re living, I’d love for you to meet Him. He came to die on the cross for you… but more than that, he came to give you a life beyond the cross.

7.07.2008

Musical Musings: Ordinary People, John Legend

Now playing: John Legend - Ordinary People
via FoxyTunes

"Ordinary People"

[Verse 1]

Girl I'm in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

[Bridge]

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 2]

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss then we make up on the way

[Bridge]

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 3]

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow


I know I've done John Legend before, and I know that you don't expect to find secular music in a devotional. Bear with me. After all, if Paul could find the Creator in Athens' Unknown God (Acts 17:23), surely I can find something worth working with in a secular song?

When I first fell in love with this song and added it to my library, I marveled at the honest treatment of relationships in it. To take such a frank view of love, to admit that relationships take work and time to survive, but that in the end, it's worth it... I really liked it. And yes, I still see that in here, and that may well be why the original musing is included (if it gets included. If not, you can go back to my website hjourdenjackson.blogspot.com and read it).

But see, there's something I want us to consider beyond romantic love here. You see, while this is really directed at two people in a romantic relationship, there are truths here that go so much deeper, that call to the truths I find in existentialism. You see, there are things we can learn on the small level, to use in relationships with our lovers, but also to expand to a larger view of things and apply to how we relate to other people (and to be fair, Beloved, sometimes we need to take the way we treat others, outside of our family, and offer our families the same level of consideration and respect; it's too easy to take our loved ones for granted. But that's not the main thrust of my point today, so you're getting off easy).

I've discussed existentialism before, and I want to recap it very briefly here, just so that we define our terms. To me, existentialism is about stripping away all the definitions and labels (essence) we carry and getting back to the basics of sheer existence before we make value judgments about people. It strips away behavior and descriptors and respects and loves on the one thing we all share in common; we all exist.

There's more to it than just that, both my understanding and concept of existentialism, and to the larger ideas of Kierkegaard and Sartre (don't worry, you don't have to remember or know how to pronounce or spell the names). But for the purposes of what I want to discuss, that's the core: stripped to the basics, we are all the same. We are all, as Legend sings, Ordinary People.

So what? What's the big deal? Well, it's easy to forget that sometimes. It's easy to forget that there are very few truly evil people in the world (I won't say there aren't any; history proves me wrong on that count), but there are also very few true saints. Indeed... there are far more of the evil sorts than there are of the perfect; there's only been one of the perfect variety! The rest of us? We're all the same folks, the same average Joes and Joses and Joannas (or JoAmbers!).

That means we all make the same sorts of mistakes all the time. We mean to do well, but we make mistakes. He forgot your birthday. He doesn't hate you... he just... forgot. She interrupted you during the game. She doesn't hate you... she just... forgot. She's human, same as you. He's human, same as you. He cut you off in traffic. Her foot slipped off the brake at the red light and she brushed your fender. He miscounted your change. She wasn't Suzy Sunshine. Maybe they're having the same bad day you are... or worse. Maybe she's worried about a sick child she had to leave at home because she's working two jobs just to make ends meet. Maybe he's worried about a distant wife. Maybe she's worried about a mother who fell down at home, or a grandparent who's just been hospitalized. Maybe he just got distracted. Who knows? What was it the last time you were the one making the mistake?

Beloved, this life is short. We get 70? 90? 100? years on earth? And that's if we're lucky. We might get 2 minutes, 2 months, 2 years, 2 decades... you get the idea. You could spend your entire life going from one upset to the next, always angry with someone for some perceived slight. I'd about guarantee you won't get 100 years that way. Why should you waste the few days you get being angry and carrying a grudge?

Isn't it preferable to let go of the little stuff? Isn't it easier to forgive every time, 7 times, 70 times, 77 times, 490 times... or even yet, to choose to not let little stuff get under your skin? It's easy to forgive 490 times if there was never any offense taken. (Where am I getting those numbers? What's this 490 nonsense? Matthew 18:21-35. The Seventy Seven Times is considered by some to actually be seventy sevens of times, thus not 77, but 70x7=490!)

We're just ordinary people. We don't know which way to go. Maybe we should take it slow. Because Beloved, Life is too short not to spend yourself on Love.

7.03.2008

Musical Musings: "Can Anybody Hear Her" Casting Crowns

Musical Musings: “Can Anybody Hear Her”, Casting Crowns
She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her
If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her
Never even met her
(Never Even Met her)

Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me

Does anybody hear her? (Does anybody hear her?) Does anybody see? (Does anybody See?)
Does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple (shadow of her steeple)
With all the lost and lonely people (Lost and Lonely people)
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?

He is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

My niece, the oldest of a dozen nieces and nephews, actually introduced this song to me, and when I listen to it, it gives me hope that God will preserve a tender heart within her… God can work with tender hearts in amazing ways if only we will let Him.
Beloved, we live in a fallen world. We live among people who make mistakes, who stumble and stutter their way through life. We live with people who hurt, with heartaches deeper than we can imagine, deeper than we can imagine. Just like you and I, who’ve had heartbreaks in our lives, who’ve borne wounds we weren’t sure we could survive, they, too, are broken and feel alone. Beloved, we live with people just like us. Or… almost just like us.
What’s the difference between “us” and “them”? Look past the behavior and look deeper, Beloved, and ask yourself, really, what the difference is. Why is it that when our hearts seem to shatter within us, we are able to get up again and keep going, and it stops them in their tracks? What gives us joy in the face of grief? What makes our lives seem so perfect from the outside looking in?
Christ. Christ is the difference between us. And I don’t mean the simple Sunday School answers… because when you’re really hurting, you need more than simple Sunday School answers to salve a broken soul. I’m talking about the living Christ, the resurrected Lord of the Gospel. The God who limited Himself to human form to redeem us to Him, the God who redeems even our heartbreak from the world to bring Him ever greater glory, the God who changes lives is the difference between us.
You see, Beloved, it’s not that I haven’t hurt in my life. It’s not that I’ve somehow led some charmed life where nothing has ever gone wrong. And even you, Beloved, reading this… you’ve got a heartbreak. You’ve got something in your past that was the deepest wound you’ve ever borne. Maybe it was a miscarriage… hoping beyond hope for a child, only to lose the baby before you had a chance to even name her. Maybe it was the death of a treasured love one. Or a divorce in the family. Or betrayal by a friend. I know there’s a hurt there. And in that way, we are no different from the lost that surround us. It’s what God has done with that hurt in our lives… it’s that we’ve come to a place where we gave ourselves completely to the God who gave Himself completely for us. It’s that we found the strength to surrender to Him. It’s the power of God to resurrect the death in our lives, trading it for His life instead. It’s the grace of God… for without it, we would be as lost as “they” are.
You see, Beloved, there is no “us” and “them”. There’s only “before” and “after”. They are the before picture, lost, stumbling, blind, confused, hurting. We are the after, eyes opened by grace, freed by grace, given peace and life and direction through the great and incomparable grace of God. And it is the deepest desire of God’s heart that we would ALL, every one of us, be an “after”.
God built us to be with Him. In the beginning, He created a garden for us to provide for us and then would come and just BE with us, walking and talking. When we fell away from Him, choosing our own ways over His, He provided us with a way to come back to Him, to walk again with Him in the garden. Even now, Beloved, He longs to woo us to Himself, to show us things of beauty and wonder, to walk with us in the garden.
So how do we get back there? How do we get from before to after? What does all of this have to do with the body of believers and the lost? Christ. Christ is the path that was made to get us back to the garden with God. He is the way. He is the door into the garden. He is the only way to God, no matter what this world would say otherwise. The redemptive work of Christ in our lives through grace takes us from before to after… indeed, that’s what I mean by “before” and “after”… before is our lives before experience the redemptive work of Christ, and after is our lives after we’ve been set free.
Oh, I know, this still sounds like a lot of Sunday School. And for a minute, it will still (though just because something sounds like simple drivel spouted without meaning doesn’t mean that it’s simple, meaningless drivel!). You see, Beloved, we Afters, we’re the Body of Christ in this world. We are His eyes, seeing the pain of our neighbors. We are His ears, hearing the cries of broken hearts. We are His hands, reaching out to the men and women stumbling in the dark. We are His feet, flying to those who so desperately need Him. We are His voice, speaking Love to wounded souls. We are the living embodiment of the change the Befores need, and if they never see it in our lives, will they ever see it at all?
It is past time for us to stop looking at this as an “us” and “them” issue. It is past time for us to stop judging our brothers and sisters for the mistakes they’ve made. It is past time for us to get down off the lofty pedestal we’ve lifted ourselves up on, to get down off our high horses. It is past time, Beloved, to humble yourself. Dare to look at the sinner not as a project or an object, but as a person in need of the same grace you need. There, but for the grace of God, go you and I.
I know what you’re saying. “That way lies madness! There are people who use compassionate people, who abuse goodness. There are people who are looking for every chance to wound and destroy! Why, if I were to give of myself that way, what would happen to me, to my family?” Frankly, you’re right. There are people who use good people. There are people who would take advantage of you. And you know what? You could die.
You know what, though, Beloved? You will die. I promise. Unless Christ comes for us first, death will come for you. Not might. Not maybe. Will. You can take that one to the bank, so to speak. But how will the Befores ever know Christ if the Body of Christ never reaches out to them? How are they to know a Jesus they never see? How will they ever stop being Befores, ever stop being people who use and abuse people and substances until the Body of Christ steps into their lives and shows them the difference?
And your family? You want to change your family? Show them the love of God in action. Show them the radical way that God loves people… not for what they can give Him, but because He can do nothing else. Let them see your life marked not by fear of what could happen, but by Love that changes lives. Let them see the way God’s love changes today, tomorrow, and forever. Demonstrate the history changing power of God, not by ignoring the lost, but by reaching out to them.
Where do I get off saying these things? Let me remind you of the Christ whose name you claim. This is the Man who dined with Tax Collectors (thieves) and prostitutes. This is the man who healed the demon-possessed and touched lepers. This is the man who fed thousands of hungry people who followed him. This is the man who forgave the men who drove the nails through his flesh.
Of course, if that’s not enough to convince you to love radically, (and really, if it’s not, then maybe you’re really a Before after all…) then what about this reminder?
The Sheep and the Goats
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."
Beloved, you and I are the ones who can make a difference. Stop judging, Beloved. What sin have they committed that carries them so far that the cross can’t reach them? Who are you to judge them as beyond the grip of grace? Who are you to deny them what you yourself have been given so freely? Who are you to disobey the example and the command of Christ to reach out even to the “least” among us?
OK, so now you’re feeling convicted, but you don’t know how to start. I could sit here and give you some concrete steps to take to improve your community… but sometimes, we have to start changing our hearts in order for a change in our lives to really take. So before you go looking for ways to reach out to the lost and hurting people in your life, I want you to pray. I want the heart that beats within you to be as radically changed as your soul was, for your life to really be renewed… because if you choose to do this in your own strength, through your own resources, you will wear yourself out, and you risk treating people like projects instead of people.
So how to start? Pray. Hey, you had to pray to find Christ, right? And isn’t the Christian life supposed to be marked by prayer? Why should this be different. Pray that you will see people the way God does. Pray that you will learn to see them with His eyes, not your own. Pray that He will prick your heart to tenderness for your fellow man. Pray that it will not be you loving them, but rather that you will be a conduit, a vessel, for the endless, unconditional love of God. Pray, Beloved, that you will be the Body, but that He will be the energizing force behind it all. Pray for God to change your heart until you become the man or woman He created you to be, useful to Him for His purposes. Pray, Beloved, that you will see yourself, your fellow man (and woman) and God in the proper perspective.
Then, and only then, Beloved, will you find the ability to love freely. Then, and only then, will fear fade. Then you will find that you can’t NOT love… that the option to not have compassion seems to almost disappear. It won’t make you a sucker. It doesn’t have to leave you a doormat or abused. You understand that you are the child of the King… and that the King takes care of His own. You begin to love as you never could have before. You begin to see as you couldn’t. You’re now equipped, Beloved, to reach out and LOVE the Befores… which is the first step in them becoming Afters! God will reveal the next step to you, far better than I ever could. You will truly become the body of Christ.
Beloved, God longs to redeem every soul on this planet. He needs you and I to see, to hear, to reach out to the people who feel invisible. They need hope. You’ve got it. Won’t you heed the call to Love?

Watch this space

Big changes are coming in the months to come. I've been writing for a long time, and I've been told for a long time that I need to be published, but I've never felt that the perfect storm of things had come together for me to feel like I could actually publish and do something meaningful and not just be another voice in the cacophany.

At least, I didn't use to.

Web 2.0 has changed a lot of things, beyond just the way we use the internet. Among the things it's brought is the right sets of tools and formats that I feel like I can actually try to publish without it being an exercise in futility and defeat.

It's going to take a lot of work, of course. Even when you consider that much of what I plan to publish in book form is already written, I have to save it and format it in a way that it works for a book, make sure that all my legal ducks are in a row, and actually assemble the book. And that's all just the work of getting the manuscript together, and doesn't include any new writing that will happen in the mean time.

As I'm struck by deep, ponderous thoughts, they'll still be here. As I'm struck with flighty silliness, well, those will likely stay here. But keep your eyes open. As we get closer to launch, there will be a new website, and I'll likely start hosting this blog over there. (I may even change which blogging service I use, but there will always be directions to get you there from here).

In the meantime? If you're the sort who prays, please keep me in your prayers. It takes a lot of work, and a lot of courage, to do this. I'll need your prayers.

Thanks, folks!

6.25.2008

Musical Musing: “How Can I Keep From Singing?” Chris Tomlin

How Can I Keep From Singing?

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring
And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives
And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart
I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart
I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing
Yeah
I can sing!

Yes, I know, I did this song last month. That's how upbeat this song, how much fun it is, how much I enjoy it. You see, while it speaks to that idea of praising God even when we seemingly have no reason to praise Him, it also speaks to the joy and peace that flood over a believer firmly in the grip of grace.

When you can understand the freedom that comes with the grace I spoke about in my last post (Also Chris Tomlin, this time “Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone”), when you really experience that freedom for yourself, it is life changing. There is a peace that you cannot begin to imagine until you possess it, and that you cannot describe to those who do not own it. It really does “surpass all understanding”.

But it's more than just peace... it's joy. I'm not talking about a momentary happiness. This isn't the up and down emotional turmoil of the roller coaster of life, where you are happy in one moment and sad the next. This isn't dependent upon the events in your life. Even in your deepest griefs, you are able to cling to this joy. Even in your darkest heartbreaks, this joy shines. When you have no earthly reason to rejoice, the joy that comes with the experience of grace bursts through your life and gives you a reason to rejoice.

Paul gives us a beautiful instruction in his letter to the Philippian church. “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” Rejoice in the Lord. And not just sometimes, but ALWAYS. And this instruction is so important, that he repeats it. It's as if he's saying “OK, folks, there will be a quiz at the end, and this will be on it. Rejoice! Did you get that? Rejoice!” You see, Beloved, rejoicing, living in this abiding joy, is one of the secrets to living the abundant life that Christ promised us.

I do not have the perfect life. I have many physical limitations and illnesses that trouble me. I struggle with headaches all the time (I've had one every day this week. Can they stop already? Please?) I have problems with my family, people with whom I am unable to have healthy relationships, and so I find I must have no relationship at all, much to my heartbreak. I cannot have children, and yet I have longed for them. I am the survivor of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. My father died when I was 17. There are numerous reasons why I could have turned my back on my faith, rejected God. There are countless reasons to be depressed, or afraid, or lost, or hurt. And when I did not understand Grace, the miraculous power of the love of God and His grace, I struggled with Paul's command to rejoice always. And to be honest, there are still time I struggle (particularly when the pain gets bad).

But that's the thing about grace-fueled joy. It's not based on my circumstances. It's not based on my past, it's not based on my present, it's not based on my future. It's not about who I am, or what I've done, or what I will do. Joy isn't about me. As long as I seek joy IN me, I will struggle, and so will you. But like Grace isn't based on what I've done to earn it, neither is joy.

Joy is founded in and fed by gratefulness to God. When I stop looking at myself, when I stop focusing all that's right or wrong in my life, and I look instead to the God who created me, to the God who loves me, to the God who redeemed me, and who will sing over me in joy when I am with Him in eternity, His joy pours over me. I am able to marvel is the greatness of God. I can stand amazed at the variety of His creation, at the beauty of His world, at the largess of His grace, at His consistancy, His power, His love. I can look at the clouds and enjoy them, knowing that nothing that will come from them is beyond His control. I can look at the grass and trees and marvel at the way they work... and that nothing man has ever built has ever done what plants do the way plants do it on the scale they do it, and isn't it just amazing that God didn't need a drawing board to think it through? Beloved, when I remember who God is, when I remember who I am, and who He's chosen to make me, I am awash in the joy of the Lord. That's rejoicing in the Lord.

God's Love is so big, so expansive, that we cannot begin to grasp it (and oh, what fun it is to try to gasp it, and then pause, and realize you haven't even gotten close, and it's even better than you've even begun to imagine!) I feel like I am a fountain, connected to the great Source of Living Water, and I am constantly being filled, even overfilled, by His Love. I feel like there's no getting close to me without getting splashed... not because of who I am, but because of how BIG He is, how big His love is. It is His love pouring through me that splashes those around me. And so, too, I think, is it with Joy. When I am rejoicing in the Lord, it's almost as if I'm somehow connecting to the Joy that God feels when He looks at His creation, and getting to share some of His joy. It's like plugging into a live wire!

Maybe that's why Christ told us to “abide in Him”... He knew that if we would but seek Him, if we would put Him first in our thoughts and our goals, that we'd plug into that Source of eternal life, and there we would find the Joy that carries us through. He knew what we could not: that we NEED joy to make it through this life we live, in this fallen world. It's why Paul tells us to rejoice... but not just to rejoice, but rejoice in the Lord. They're all telling us to plug in to God's Joy.

Beloved, if you're wondering how we can sing when it would seem we have no reason, I ask you, nay, I beg you, for the sake of your own soul, to find the Grace of God. You will never feel so free, you will never have peace like it, and you will never know the joy that sustains me in the darkest days, until you do. There is nothing in all the world like the Joy of the Lord, nothing. And when you've found Him, then you can join us... because really,

How can I can I keep from singing?!

6.23.2008

Musical Musings: Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone), Chris Tomlin

Now playing: Chris Tomlin - Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)
via FoxyTunes

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Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone), Chris Tomlin

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

I write these with the song on repeat on my laptop as I write, so I hear it over and over again as I write. I find myself struggling this time to put into words quite what I want to say; I'm stolen away again and again by the beauty of this song, these lyrics. And there are tears in my eyes (which is good... it makes it easier to see, actually!) because of the truth ringing through every word, every note.

Amazing Grace is not a new song. It was written around 1772 by a former slave trader (though not until some 22 years after he left the slave trade for health reasons) and has been used not only as a hymn in Christian churches, but also as an anthem for human rights groups. (See the Wikipedia article for more information on the history of the song and its author.) It's a favorite on bagpipes at funerals (and yes, I LOVE hearing it on bagpipes!) and was even in the second Star Trek film, the Wrath of Khan (yes, I recognised it the first time I heard it in the movie!). Because of it's simple meter, it gets set to other melodies, and even Elvis covered it.

But there's something amazing about this version by Chris Tomlin. It's simple, it's sweet, Chris' voice accompanied by a piano (and maybe a guitar?) and joined on the chorus for layers of harmony. But more than the simple majesty of the music, there is the message. And, oh, what a message.

The Creator of the universe pours out grace upon us to redeem us to Himself. The God who spoke time into existence, who breathes life into our frail bodies, who set the heavenly bodies in their courses, who divided the land from the sea and created every living thing upon this earth... this is the God who condescends to pour grace upon us and redeem us. This God who speaks from the whirlwind and in the whisper gave up the limitlessness of divinity for us.

Me. Who lied to my mother. Who hated my stepfathers. Who disobeys His commands. Me. In this frail, mortal body, marked by death (your very genetic structure contains a countdown clock until your death... the telomeres that shorten with every division until they no longer protect your cells genetic coding from mutation and error and death, that even cloning can't get around). Me. A housewife in suburban Oklahoma, on the edge between city and farm. Me. God gave up divinity for ME.

Stop for a minute, beloved, and reread that paragraph, but put yourself in it. Think about all the things about yourself, even the ones you never tell anyone, all the shortcomings and failures in your life. Think about every reason you don't deserve anything good. You know what they are. Even now, guilt is whispering in your ear.

Who am I, who are you, that God would descend from Heaven, would step from outside of time into entropy, would limit himself, for me, for you? What, Beloved, in your life deserves such a sacrifice? I know there is nothing in my life that is worthy of that sort of divine condescension. And if you are honest with yourself, truly honest, brutally so, you will know the same is true of you.

And that, Beloved, is what's so amazing about grace.

Grace is not given for what we do. It is not given for who we know. There is nothing in our lives that would merit what God did for us. Nothing. Even the good you do, you should be doing anyway, so it cannot outweigh the ill you do. Grace has nothing to do with who we are. Listen to me, Beloved. Grace has NOTHING to do with who we are or what we do.

Stop striving, stop struggling, stop fighting to be enough. Stop. You cannot earn grace. You cannot do enough. And while that causes a panic at first, doesn't it sort of feel good to just stop? Doesn't it feel good on some level to just stop fighting?

Grace is not about me. It's not about you. Grace is God. It's all about God. Grace is God, looking at us, seeing that we are completely unworthy, completely unable, and completely undeserving. Grace is the Creator of the universe seeing our failings... and overcoming them Himself. Grace is God stepping out of eternity, into time, and redeeming us from our mistakes. Grace is the divine condescending to come to earth, the Creator coming to His creation, and drawing us to Him.

Grace says you don't have to be enough. You don't have to do enough. Grace knows you can never be enough or do enough... and it doesn't matter. Grace comes to you, undeserving you. Grace says “Stop fighting Me, Beloved, and rest in My embrace.” Grace cries over the heartbreak “I love you, not for what you have done, but because of who I am. I love you, Beloved. I can do no other.”

I remember when my baby sister (she's 18 now, rapidly approaching 19, and less a baby... but she will always be my baby sister, a fact she's been told her entire life) was tiny. I was responsible for caring for her, and there were times I let her cry. I'd put her to bed, and she'd cry; babies never understand why you're going away, why they have to stop and sleep. They cry because their will is being thwarted and they don't know how else to protest. Sometimes, you just have to let them cry. It's part of how they learn to comfort themselves (“self-soothe”) and cope with the unfairness of life, even at that tender age. But sometimes, they don't know how to stop. I may have stepped away and let her cry her frustrations out... but I could hear when the cry changed from “this isn't fair!” to “I don't know how to stop!” And that's when I'd go back in to her. I'd scoop her into my arms and hold her. And she'd fight me; she was still upset, she still didn't want to be thwarted (though she certainly couldn't have put it in such clear, articulate terms). But she also needed me to hold her close, to comfort her, to soothe her and help her stop crying. I had to hold her tightly while she fought me, knowing that she wouldn't have peace until she trusted me enough to stop fighting. If you've spent time with small children, none of this should be surprising to you; you may have done this with your child, or niece or nephew, or grandchild.

That's Grace, Beloved. God steps down to earth because He sees we cannot stop by ourselves, and He holds us in His arms and lets us weep it out, lets us fight it out. He holds us close as we struggle, soothing us and waiting for us to trust Him enough to stop fighting.

When I tell you to stop, that's what I mean. God is waiting, Beloved, His arms outstretched, waiting for us to trust Him. And just as it feels good to be comforted in the embrace of another, to stop fighting and just let it go, oh, Beloved, how much better it feels when that embrace is God's.

I was bound in chains. I was blind, lost, confused. I could not even see the chains that held me. I could not tell I was blind. All I knew is that every day was an endless battle, a heartbreaking fight that sapped me of all my strength and life. I did not know I needed Grace... I did not know what I needed. I was suicidal from exhaustion... it wasn't a longing for death, it was a weariness of the existence I was leading. There was nothing in me that deserved what I needed.

And God ran to me. He was ever there, ever waiting for me to stop fighting and surrender to Him. Like my sister in my arms, fighting me even as she needed me, I had to give over my will to His... and oh, how much better it is now.

Beloved, Grace is available. It is ever unchanging, because it exists outside of the limits of time. It is eternal, always present, always working in us. And when the end of days comes, when the sun finally reaches the end of its life and the earth dies as all things must, Beloved, Grace is still there. You will never run so far that Grace cannot reach you. You will never unearn Grace... for indeed, if you could not earn it, how could you lose it?

Ah, you say, but if it is always there, then what is the rush? Or, perhaps you are mortified by so “easy” a Grace... you fear that Grace so readily reached is unappreciated and abused. You see, Beloved, another thing amazing about grace is what it does in the life of its recipient. Grace, freely given, lavishly poured out, a libation from God instead of to Him, forever changes those who receive it. Aware of our great need for it, our gratitude for it is great. Indeed, I would say that the greater our awareness of our need for grace, the more we receive and the more we appreciate it.

The best illustration I can offer for this comes from my marriage. You see, my husband loves me. I do not doubt this. It is tattooed indelibly on my soul. And I know, that like the grace I receive from God, my husband's love for me is not based on what I do for him, but rather on who he is. He has chosen to love me; he can do no other. There is nothing I could to take from him his love for me (though it should be noted that any spouse can grieve their partner past the breaking point... we are human, after all, with human weaknesses, and even my husband is only human). I could take advantage of that love and treat him horribly. I could trust that my husband will always be there for me, when I am ready for him, and run around on him, abusing him. I could trust that his love will always be there for me, and cheat on him, or even intentionally fight him. I could, if I so chose, intentionally make his marriage to me the most miserable thing ever he did.

But I don't. You see, because I am so keenly aware of just how precious my husband's love for me truly is, I treasure it. Because I know that there is nothing in me that he should love me, I treasure and prize and am extremely grateful for his love. I don't have to dress up when he takes me out; he loves me in pajamas as much as he does in fancy dresses. I don't have to do my hair when we go nice places; he doesn't care if my hair is up or down, grey or red, long... none of that matters to him. I choose to dress up, I choose to look nice not in order to earn his love, but out of appreciation for it. When people look at us, I want them to think well of my husband because of me. I want to reflect well on my Beloved. I want my life to be a witness, a testimony, of his love for me. Because he loves me, I change myself to be more pleasing to him in gratitude.

That's how it is with Grace. I don't live right in order to earn grace, just as I don't dress up to earn love. Because I am so keenly aware of my need, I treasure what I have been freely given as a gift. I don't take advantage of it, trusting it will always be there... because life is short, and the tomorrow I'm counting on may never come. I don't abuse the gifts I'm given, nor do I abuse the giver. And because I am so grateful, I change myself to please those who have given to me. I seek to reflect well on the one who gives to me. I live “right” not out of fear for my future, but to please the one who sealed my future.

And, that, Beloved, is Amazing Grace. Grace saw me in my wretchedness, in my lost, blind, chained state, wholly unworthy of it, and condescended to come to me anyway. And because Grace came to me, because I have been freed, I will forever live to please the one who freed me. Won't you stop fighting? Won't you let Him hold you close? I so want you to feel the thrill I do when I sing

My chains are gone!
I've been set free!
My God, my Savior, has ransomed me!
And like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing Grace...
And God, who called me...
will be forever mine.


There is nothing like it in all the earth. Once you are free, you will marvel that you stayed chained so long. Life is sweet, Beloved. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him. (Psalm 34:8). Won't you come?