Surgical update 3

OK, I wrote this at a 48 point font and the letters are still really fuzzy and overlap sometimes.

I know I said I would do this daily, but using the computer gets tiring quickly. I’ve got all my windows set larger so that I can see, and while I did the bulletin last week, it was difficult. A week ago, when I went to the doctor one week post-op (actually, closer to 10 days), I was seeing somewhere between 20/60 and 20/80. I think I’m actually much closer to 20/80. I’m still not legal to drive, and I’m getting headaches and tired easily. Up close is good, it’s the further out that wears me out. If I’m not significantly better by the time I go back in 2 weeks, (19 Feb) I’ll ask for glasses or something, because I’m not functioning as well now as I did before the surgery, and that gets disheartening.

Still, as I said the day after I had the surgery… if I never see the way I did before, I’ll learn to cope. People live with worse all the time. And I will still rely on my Rolling River God to carry me through anything this life has to offer.

It didn’t take overnight to get as blind as I was. It’ll take longer than overnight to recover.

Who Are You Dancing With?

The Student Ministries Drama Team put this on for our church yesterday, actually acted it out as you see here. It was part of their focus on purity, and I sobbed freely as I watched. Looking it up online when one of the others I'm in drama with mentioned seeing it on youtube, I found the version you see above, and I wept again.

I don't know that I've ever seen such a beautiful, stunning, accurate portrayal of my savior. No, I'm not talking about any of the actors you see, but rather the portrayal of Christ. That, my dear readers, that is the living, loving, Christ.

Watch it again. See the joy in his face as he creates new marvels for her? Do you begin to grasp the delight and love that God Almighty poured into Creation for us? He made a world fit for us to live in, perfectly arranged in the universe, in our solar system, balancing on the razor’s edge of impossible, all for us, in our temporal bodies, to enjoy. He gave us food to eat, beauty to see, water to drink and refresh us. Look at the joy on his face reflected in hers… the way she delights in the good and perfect gifts he gives. It is man, created in the image of living God, mirroring Him as we were made to, as only we can. It is joy, pure and unadulterated.

Now, as you watch the parade of temptations and influences in her life, in the sins she succumbs to and commits without him, look at the despair in both of their faces. Look at his body language, pleading her to stop, to just come back to him, reaching for her each time she reaches for him. Look at the emptiness and heartbreak in her as she tries one thing after another and finds them all unsatisfying. This is man as we are without Christ, empty, lost, separated from him by the very things we thought would fulfill us, would add to us, would be good for us. This is Christ, as He watches in agony as His creation falls away from Him. This is omniscient God in the garden, asking where we are. This is the death we experience apart from the Creator who gave us life.

Look as he spreads his arms, seeming to surrender, and collapses. That, beloved, is the price of freedom. That, beloved, is the price of liberty. That is the price of life, the price of redemption. Christ is not giving up on us, oh, no, nor has He lost any of Himself. This is Christ, the Creator, Perfection itself, the Word made flesh, paying a debt we cannot, sacrificing His life willingly to save ours. This is the cost of redemption.

Look again as she turns and runs to him, fighting off all the chains that shackle her, all the sin that holds her bound and lost. Look as the sin is shed as the shirt off her back. Look at him, beloved. Look at how he fights for her, never giving up, never surrendering, inexorably drawing her to himself. Look as she falls to her knees, how he rushes in, placing his body between hers and the very sins she once chose over him. Look at the struggle.

This is the war in the heavenlies, the battle raging for our souls even now. This is the God who created us fighting back the demons that would hold us back from who we were created to be. This is the shedding of the old, the death to self, the surrender to the fact that Christ alone can save us. This is our salvation, acted out before us. This is who God is, placing His Messiah between us and all that stands against us. This, beloved, is the once for all time, and the every day salvation of Christ in our lives.

Look again, and see him win, see him stand her to her feet, dust the dirt away, and then draw her to him again.

Christ never loses. Nothing in this world, nothing in all of creation, can separate us from Christ, can snatch us out of His holy Hands. This is Christ, washing us clean, removing everything that seperates us from Him. This, oh desperately loved reader, this is God.

Look as they walk away together, marveling again in the joy, held tightly in each others’ arms. Look at the way they dance together, the way they celebrate… look at the pure joy in their faces as he holds her close in his perfect embrace. This, this was God’s plan all along. This is His purpose for us. This is His heart for us. This is His hope, His future, for us. This is eternal God drawing us back into relationship with Him, and walking step by step with Him.

We are each responsible for the choices we make in our lives. At every step of the journey, there is a choice, even in the things where it seems we have no choice. When the night seems darkest, when hope seems lost, when the battle is too much for you, stop, and ask yourself who you’ve been dancing with. When you have no strength to continue, surrender to the One who was waiting to dance with you all along, even when you turned away from Him. Surrender to the One who places Himself between the death of your sin, your errors, your selfishness, and who lifts you to your feet and woos you into His arms again. Surrender to the living Christ.

This is my Jesus. Who are you dancing with?