12.29.2004

Musical Musings: I Wanna Be There, Blessid Union of Souls

Won't you let me catch your fall
Won't you let me lend a hand
Those lonely eyes have seen it all
But love's too blind to understand
Cause you don't know what you have
Til your everything is gone
You need someone to show you how to live again

I wanna be there when you're feeling high
I wanna be there when you wanna die
I'm gonna light your fire
Gonna feel your flame
I wanna be there when you go insane
I wanna be there when you're feelin' down
And I'll be there when your head is spinnin' round
Gonna be your lover
Gonna be your friend
I wanna be there til the end

You wouldn't know that I was there
Cause I have been there all the time
And if I had my way I'd hold you in my arms
And leave this madness all behind

Cause you got so much to give
But you throw it all away
And all you got to show for who you are is pain

And I've got so much to give
If you'd only let me in
I'm gonna take the time to show you I'm a friend
You'll believe in love again

I wanna be there in the pouring rain
I wanna be there when you call my name
I'm gonna light your fire
Gonna feel your flame
I wanna be there when you go insane
I wanna be there when I'm outta town
And when your whole damn world is crashing down
I'm gonna be your lover
Gonna be your friend
I wanna be there til the end

Cause you don't know what you have
Til your everything is gone
You need someone to show you how to live again

And I got so much to give
If you'd only let me in
I'm gonna take the time to show you I'm a friend
You'll believe again

I wanna be there when your baby cries
I wanna be there when they tell you lies
I'm gonna light your fire
Gonna feel your flame
I wanna be there when you go insane
I wanna be there when your nights are long
And when you're feeling like you don't belong
Gonna be your lover
Gonna be your friend
Gonna be there til the end

I'm gonna be there in the morning
I'm gonna be there in the night
Gonna be your lover
Gonna be your friend
Gonna be there til the end

John gave me this CD while we were dating. This song is the first track on the CD, Blessid Union of Souls' self titled offering, and had heavy airplay on pop stations for a while there. It was sort of his promise to me. I had already told him most, if not everything, hidden in my closet. I figured that when he learned the truth about me, he'd want to leave...so I might as well get it out sooner rather than later, when it would hurt more for us to part ways. I've spent much of our relationship in fear of that, really, and for no good reason. He's never given me any reason to doubt him or his love for me, but for a very very long time, I couldn't accept that his love was unconditional. That when he told me that he loves me, there was nothing I could do to make him stop loving me, and that I deserved that from anyone. But he told me, time after time after time and again. John loved me when I didn't know how to be loved, when I didn't know how to love myself. (Yes, I'm crying as I write this today.)

Thank you, John. Thank you for keeping the promise in this song, for keeping the promise in our vows. Thank you for loving me despite me. I don't know that I can ever repay your faithfulness to me, your devotion, but let me assure you that I know well beyond the shadow of doubt that you love me. I love you more than I could have imagined on the day I married you, and I am eagerly looking forward to loving you all the days of our lives. Here's hoping that, no matter what our tomorrows bring us, we will hold to this promise and remember how our love has grown and deepened. When I forget why I love you, may I ever return to this moment, this memory, of the man who loved me back to love.

12.12.2004

Christmas 2004

Humbly born to humbly serve
Merciful Savior of the sons of the earth
Righteous One of immeasurable worth
This moment belongs to You

Denying Your glory as Lord Most High
Born as an infant, You came down to die
Wonderful Counselor, The one True Light
This hour belongs to You

Born in a stable, hay for Your bed
Your blood our wine, Your body our bread
To pay for my failures, You died instead
This day belongs to You

Your miraculous birth announced by a star
With hope in the promise, men traveled far
Unblemished Lamb now bearing my scar
This season belongs to You

Alpha, Omega, the First and the Last
Hope of our glory, You delivered our past
Hold us faithful to You ‘till we breathe our last
Eternity belongs to You

12.07.2004

Boycott Target

I have decided that Target, apparently, doesn't need my money. Perhaps they've decided they don't need yours, either, and you just don't realise this yet. Maybe you think they still do, but in the effort of having an informed public, I thought I would pass along the reasons why I've decided to boycott Target stores.It seems that Target, or at least the powers that be that run the chain, has decided that middle-class American values are unimportant. There are two main indicators of this, either of which alone would be enough for me to boycott the chain. However, combined, it seems overwhelming reason for me to eschew shopping there (besides the fact that there are no convenient locations for me, and the one I was in last was laid out terribly). It seems Target will no longer allow the Salvation Army bell ringers to operate outside of their stores, and a recent commercial featured porn king and mogul Hugh Hefner.As regards the Salvation Army Ban: I am aware that the corporate offices of Target support many charitable causes. I am also aware that Target, like Wal-Mart and many other stores, has a no-solicitation policy. That means that the stores do not allow other organizations to use the store premises to solicit, or ask for, money or donations from shoppers. It is meant, I presume, to prevent the shoppers from being harrassed everytime they arrive at the store. I appreciate this policy and the presumed intent behind it. However, stores regularly bend this policy for certain groups and oganizations. Scouting groups often wait outside to sell cookies or candy, as do other school groups, to raise funds. Until this year, the Salvation Army bell ringers had been among the groups excepted from this policy, and indeed, if you will visit just about any mall or Wal-Mart store, you will find the familiar bucket and bells. These men and women come out to raise funds so that children from underpriviliged families are able to enjoy their Christmas. The donations from those buckets enable the Salvation Army to minister to the poor and homeless of our society. This year, Target stores have decided that they will no longer make an exception for the Salvation Army. The bell ringers and their buckets are excluded from their stores and property. This is especially unfortunate when you remember that Target stores carry merchandise priced inbetween the prices at a Wal-Mart and a Sears. In other words, if you can afford to shop at Target, you are far more likely to be able to give generously to those in need. Target has taken the convenient reminder many people use to give, and removed it. Granted, if motivated, people will still give, regardless. But by prohibiting the bell ringers, they put an obstacle in the way of charity. Shame on you, Target.Hugh Hefner: One of the recent commercials for Target featured a "family" gathered for Christmas morning, all in their pajamas, opening their gifts. Hugh Hefner, in his signature pajamas, is among them. It seems to me to be a mockery of the happy family dynamic portrayed to include the man who founded and leads an empire of exploitative pornography. This is a man who leads a life of leisure built on the graphic and explicit naked bodies of young women. Many may debate the amount of damage pornography causes to the American family, but I think many people realise that pornography is not exactly conducive to the type of happy family portrayed in this commercial. The inclusion, then, of Hugh Hefner in the scene of the happy family scene, when he has been instrumental in destroying that very family dynamic, is insulting and a mockery at best.Since it would seem that Target is out of touch with moral values, then I choose allow them to be out of touch with my monetary values. Perhaps boycotting the store, refusing them my money, will show them the importance of not ignoring morals and values. If there is anyone from Target reading this post, please pass these concerns along to your decision makers.