I know it’s been a while. I’ve been settling in to my nice little house. I LOVE Owasso. It’s green, there are trees, we let the dogs in most days, where they run around like idiots for 5 minutes, licking everything and everyone before settling down to sleep like the dead. It’s easy to keep my house under control…all that purging I did that was SO painful before we left means that my house is MINE…not clutter’s. This is a good thing.
Oh, and yes, I’m still a klutz. About 2 months ago, as I was getting off the floor after putting groceries away, I rolled on my knee wrong…partial tear of the ACL and strain of the LCL. I’m in physical therapy, and going back to the doctor tomorrow since it made a nearly identical sound in therapy yesterday and I’ve been this huge pile of breathtaking OUCH since then… (folks from Church…that’s where I was last night…here, at home, a huge pile of OUCH that didn’t want to interrupt things when whimpers accompanied a new wave…)
Going to church. We found one, Rejoice Church. It’s actually a Free Will Baptist church, but listening to the Pastor explain it, listening to his sermons…It’s sound teaching. That’s what matters to me more than the denominational affiliation. Is the teaching biblically based and sound? It is here. We haven’t joined yet…but I think we might soon.
Other health problems have forced me to accept that I will probably never have children. John and I are discussing adoption for some point…but not right now. If nothing else, it wouldn’t be fair to our beloved child to bring them into our home when their Mama is still mourning the siblings he’ll never have. Of course, John and I have always known we wanted to adopt…the opportunity to change a child’s life forever, to take a life that would have been rejected. Adoption is such a portrait of God’s love for us…I can’t express how much I long to love a child who might have been forgotten by society.
You know, it’s PAINFUL to let go of a dream. It’s hard, and it’s tempting to just stay there, lost in the pain. To die with your dream. But life is so much more than just our dreams. There are so many things left for me to do, so many opportunities left for me to live the love I’ve been shown. So…just like I grunt through my therapy to repair this stupid knee (Grampa Jourden, I think I got your knees…) so too will I rise in determination that there are far greater things ahead of me than the ones I leave behind. I buried a dream, I buried one hope…but I believe, I stand in, I rest in the biblical promise that there are far greater things ahead…Greater is He who is in me than ANYTHING I face in the world.