In the past few months, Oklahoma has had just an inch or so more rain than Phoenix in the desert, or so said someone from my church. I think, then, you can imagine my delight at the fact we're supposed to get lots of rain this weekend. In fact, I don't even mind that I'm going on vacation and getting rained in ON vacation. I'm going with John's family to the Broken Bow area and staying in this HUGE cabin that I'm pretty sure is bigger than my house.
Oh, and no, I didn't forget. It's St. Patrick's Day. Yes, I am of Irish descent.
Google and Wikipedia both have links to more information; St. Patrick's Day is more than just another reason to get drunk on beverages green or otherwise. St. Patrick is credited with at the very least, helping to spread the influence of Christianity in ancient Ireland. St. Patrick's Day is meant to honor his memory and celebrate all the wonnder that is Irish-ness. I may not love all of his methods (instead of introducing a new religion, he adapted his new religion to include pagan rites so it would be more palatable, possibly compromising the gospel he taught, just as hundreds of thousands of priests had before and would do after he did, so it's not just him), but I can still honor the memory of a man whose influence still did more good than harm, I think. I can also get behind celebrating Irish history and culture, and even the consumption of green and/or Irish food.
Of course, I am going to request that you be responsible in your observation. If you're going to drink, get a designated driver. Getting so drunk that you make bad decisions and hurt people in the process brings no honor to anyone. Don't let Irish heritage be your excuse to get sloshed and get stupid.
Now kiss me! I'm Irish!!
3.17.2006
3.13.2006
Fun things I learned today:
1) Hawaii has only one incorporated city: Honolulu.
2) The proper name of Honolulu: "The City & County of Honolulu"
3) The aforementioned "City & County of Honolulu" actually covers the entire island of Oahu, as well as all of the territory that belongs to Oahu.
4) What mainlanders think of Honolulu is actually "Urban Honolulu"
5) All of the rest of the "towns" in Hawaii are "CDP"s, or Census Designated Places. In fact, as far as the Census Department is concerned, only "Urban Honolulu" is "Honolulu".
6) If you have Vonage, calling Hawaii is free. Hawaii is over 3000 miles from where I am. Mexico City, by contrast, is just over 1100 miles from me, and it would cost me 6 cents a minute to call. It's cheaper for me to call an island I can only get to by FLIGHT 3000 miles away than it is to call a city I could concievably walk to (well, not that I would...walking that far would take me something like 10 years, and I don't really find that an attractive or enjoyable prospect, but I think you get the idea) that's 2000 miles CLOSER. I LOVE Vonage.
Yes, I called Honolulu. No, I didn't call Mexico City. I just picked a foreign country closer than HI that isn't Canada (because I can call Canada for free, too, and Puerto Rico.)
Also: The Leeward sides of the Hawaiian islands are drier than the Windward sides; the volcanic mountains that form the islands cause the currents to dump their rain on the windward side. Thus, most of the touristy stuff is on the leeward sides of the islands.
Everytime I spell Hawaii, I do so incorrectly. Well, in standard English (be that Commonwealth English or American English), it's OK. But Hawaiians spell it Hawai'i, where the ' is a glottal stop between the two i's. So why am not using Hawaiian English? I'm too lazy at the moment. Hawaiians: I apologize for being a lazy snot. Please don't flame me.
I learned more today, but at the moment, I think my head might pop from information overload if I try to explain it all. So I won't tell you about the forbidden island that is privately owned and not allowed to have visitors, or the hike up Wiliwilinui Ridge, or how the other side of the Koolau volcano fell into the ocean, and so the Koolau Range on Oahu is really just half of a volcano, or where the term "Shield Volcano" came from (but I will tell you that every volcano in Hawaii is one), or why it's nearly impossible to hike the entire length of the Koolau range, or the correct Hawaiian English ways to spell all of the above terms.
Go spend some time with Wikipedia. Between it and Google, you should be able to find everything I did, and even stuff I've forgotten how to express already.
:D
2) The proper name of Honolulu: "The City & County of Honolulu"
3) The aforementioned "City & County of Honolulu" actually covers the entire island of Oahu, as well as all of the territory that belongs to Oahu.
4) What mainlanders think of Honolulu is actually "Urban Honolulu"
5) All of the rest of the "towns" in Hawaii are "CDP"s, or Census Designated Places. In fact, as far as the Census Department is concerned, only "Urban Honolulu" is "Honolulu".
6) If you have Vonage, calling Hawaii is free. Hawaii is over 3000 miles from where I am. Mexico City, by contrast, is just over 1100 miles from me, and it would cost me 6 cents a minute to call. It's cheaper for me to call an island I can only get to by FLIGHT 3000 miles away than it is to call a city I could concievably walk to (well, not that I would...walking that far would take me something like 10 years, and I don't really find that an attractive or enjoyable prospect, but I think you get the idea) that's 2000 miles CLOSER. I LOVE Vonage.
Yes, I called Honolulu. No, I didn't call Mexico City. I just picked a foreign country closer than HI that isn't Canada (because I can call Canada for free, too, and Puerto Rico.)
Also: The Leeward sides of the Hawaiian islands are drier than the Windward sides; the volcanic mountains that form the islands cause the currents to dump their rain on the windward side. Thus, most of the touristy stuff is on the leeward sides of the islands.
Everytime I spell Hawaii, I do so incorrectly. Well, in standard English (be that Commonwealth English or American English), it's OK. But Hawaiians spell it Hawai'i, where the ' is a glottal stop between the two i's. So why am not using Hawaiian English? I'm too lazy at the moment. Hawaiians: I apologize for being a lazy snot. Please don't flame me.
I learned more today, but at the moment, I think my head might pop from information overload if I try to explain it all. So I won't tell you about the forbidden island that is privately owned and not allowed to have visitors, or the hike up Wiliwilinui Ridge, or how the other side of the Koolau volcano fell into the ocean, and so the Koolau Range on Oahu is really just half of a volcano, or where the term "Shield Volcano" came from (but I will tell you that every volcano in Hawaii is one), or why it's nearly impossible to hike the entire length of the Koolau range, or the correct Hawaiian English ways to spell all of the above terms.
Go spend some time with Wikipedia. Between it and Google, you should be able to find everything I did, and even stuff I've forgotten how to express already.
:D
3.12.2006
Vacationing
John and I are looking forward to a cruise later this year, early fall. This will be the first time, since our honeymoon, that the two of us will have taken an extended vacation, just the two of us. I've gone on trips without him, we've gone on long vacations with our families, and we've taken long weekends away...but to actually GO AWAY together? That's been a while. We're so excited!!!
Grizzly Bear
Those are pictures from earlier this afternoon when John and I took the dogs on a walk. The boys LOVE to go out and walk, and are starting to learn "come" and "sit", particularly when treats are involved. That means obedience school should be easier for them.
Grizzly is the larger of the two dogs, on the right,IIRC, and Bear is the little one, on the left. You can also tell them apart by looking at their coats; Bear's got more black mixed into his coat, while Grizzly is pretty red.
Oh, and they've discovered Kit, who discovered them, and formed a mutual dislike society. Kit hisses at them through the window, and they bark back. Good thing I keep the cat inside and the dogs out. :D
I have more pictures of them online in my yahoo group: if this link works, you can use it to join!
Enjoy, all!
3.03.2006
Just a brief little note...
before I go to bed in a minute here.
Sleep is good. Sleep, I think, gets highly under-rated. It's magnificent. And now, in celebration of the wonderfulness that is sleep, I'm going to go get some. Sleep that is.
Yes, I know... I'm a dork. But if you've known me for more than 5 minutes, that really shouldn't be news...
Sleep is good. Sleep, I think, gets highly under-rated. It's magnificent. And now, in celebration of the wonderfulness that is sleep, I'm going to go get some. Sleep that is.
Yes, I know... I'm a dork. But if you've known me for more than 5 minutes, that really shouldn't be news...
3.01.2006
Good News
Well, this morning was my appointment with the pulmonologist (lung specialist), Dr. Haddad. It seemed a wise step to take, considering how sickly I've been this winter. I got nothing but GOOD news.
1) Thanks to an unseasonably warm winter and just plain weird year, I'm not the first person he's seen with almost the same complaint...so I'm not alone, and it's not all in my head.
He ordered some tests: a sinus and chest x-ray, and spirometry
2) Sinus X-ray was clear. If it hadn't been, I would have been off to another specialist to address the sinus issues in an attempt to help control the asthmatic ones.
3) Chest X-ray was clear. No active, current infection, and no damage to my lungs that we can see that way.
4) Spirometry came back 90% of normal...but normal is 80% or better...so I'm fine there. My lungs function just fine, so I've not had any permament damage.
Dr. Haddad (HAD-id) added Singulair, which is not a steroid, and emphasized the importance of staying on the Advair that I've been taking. These are both maintenance meds, meant to keep my lungs working their best. He also said I need to be certain to use my albuterol inhaler 15-20 minutes before I have any exertion, and as needed beyond that. If these aren't enough to get things under control for me, he'll add a home nebulizer...a liquid medication is added to air in a mist and I breathe that in to treat the airway constriction.
I'll go back and see him in 3 months unless something changes between now and then, and if things go as well as he anticipates, he'll see me again 6 months after that, and then, just as I need to.
But there's no permanent damage, this is asthma, and he deals with that all the time, and I should be just fine. YAY!
I needed the good news.
1) Thanks to an unseasonably warm winter and just plain weird year, I'm not the first person he's seen with almost the same complaint...so I'm not alone, and it's not all in my head.
He ordered some tests: a sinus and chest x-ray, and spirometry
2) Sinus X-ray was clear. If it hadn't been, I would have been off to another specialist to address the sinus issues in an attempt to help control the asthmatic ones.
3) Chest X-ray was clear. No active, current infection, and no damage to my lungs that we can see that way.
4) Spirometry came back 90% of normal...but normal is 80% or better...so I'm fine there. My lungs function just fine, so I've not had any permament damage.
Dr. Haddad (HAD-id) added Singulair, which is not a steroid, and emphasized the importance of staying on the Advair that I've been taking. These are both maintenance meds, meant to keep my lungs working their best. He also said I need to be certain to use my albuterol inhaler 15-20 minutes before I have any exertion, and as needed beyond that. If these aren't enough to get things under control for me, he'll add a home nebulizer...a liquid medication is added to air in a mist and I breathe that in to treat the airway constriction.
I'll go back and see him in 3 months unless something changes between now and then, and if things go as well as he anticipates, he'll see me again 6 months after that, and then, just as I need to.
But there's no permanent damage, this is asthma, and he deals with that all the time, and I should be just fine. YAY!
I needed the good news.
2.23.2006
I didn't write this...but it's still amusing!
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !
Q: Aren' t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to Skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!" So friends, why worry? Eat, drink and be merry.
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !
Q: Aren' t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to Skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!" So friends, why worry? Eat, drink and be merry.
2.18.2006
Johari & Nohari Windows
2.15.2006
Randomness
OK, OK, I know, it's been a while since I posted. Months even. Yah, yah, deal wit' it.
Anyway.
OK, last time I posted, I had 2 kitties, 1 fish, a new puppy, and hopes that the heat had broken. I think Moe was still hanging on then anyway...
Moe didn't make it. Guess he knew his time was limited, and he floated finally. Poor Moe. I'd be more heartbroken if I hadn't bought him to amuse the cats anyway.
The break in the heat didn't really make it, either. We've not had a winter yet. In fact, if you're paying attention, and the news stops obsessing with the Left Coast long enough, you might notice that much of OK has burned in the past few months while a drought leaves us too parched to water willynilly, but fire dangers leave the risk of what happens if we don't water willynilly way too stinkin' high... I miss winter.
Bear's still here, and actually, so are Kit and Lady. Bear's been joined though, as of New Years Eve, by Grizzly, who looks like a bigger, redder version of the same dog. Grizzly taught Bear the fine art of running away multiple times a day, so we spent most of January trying to find new ways to keep the dogs in while they spent the time trying to find new ways of getting out. An electric fence has the problem almost solved, but they can still get out when we open the garage door...so we're still looking for a solution that will work there. Still, they're GORGEOUS dogs, very friendly, and so cheerfully, blissfully ignorant that running away is a bad thing when they get back (they LOVE car rides, the little stink pots)...we can't help ourselves; we love the little idiots. Actually...not so much little. Grizzly was 73 pounds when last we weighed him, and Bear was close to 30 pounds. They're very good at knocking me off my feet and dogpiling me...literally. Obedience school is coming in March....1 hour a week, for 8 weeks. Maybe we can get them to come when they're called, more than just when they're in the mood to...
John took a new job, leaving OneNet at the end of January. He'd been with them since Jan 01, so this is a BIG adjustment for him. It's with a new start up, and he's doing Wireless Internet Consulting. Actaully, at the moment, that means he's in Pittsburgh PA, planning to spend the morning driving all over Pittsburgh looking at trees and buildings and lights and towers to see what it will take to BUILD a wireless network for the entire city. When he gets home tomorrow, though, he gets a few weeks off from travelling, something we're both eager for.
I also took a new job, same company, different tune. See, the network guys go out and decide how to build their networks, then they come back, tell me what they saw, what that means, and I help write their reports and stuff. Anything that goes out anymore that required any writing prolly had a minimum of one of my fingers in it, at least to proof-read and grammar nit pick...stop laughing, really, I do well at my job!!
Jennifer moved to Beaver OK for about a month and then moved back to VA...but that meant I got to see my sweet Zoey bug again. My GOD, she's gorgeous. Yes, I am shamelessly in love with my neice. I adore all 9 of my neices, my nephew, and even the one on the way due this fall (Jen brought back something of her trip out here...but I met the daddy, and he seemed like a nice enough fellow, even if things didn't work out between them, sorry man!)
The current youngest neice, Emma, had heart surgery in January and is now home, recovering well. If you haven't been keeping up with Meredith's blog, you can do that here. Internet is amazing; I don't know that I could have stayed even remotely sane trying to keep up with the news from there without Meredy's updates to the web for us. My sister ROCKS. (Yes, all my sisters rock, thank you, I'm just citing one specific example at the moment :P ).
I'm now on my 4th (yes, FOURTH) bout of bronchitis for the 05-06 season. After the 3rd bout, I got the flu and pneumonia vaccines, and went in for allergy testing. 121 pin pricks later...I don't have to have allergy shots. That's something, at least. Alas, it didn't fix anything, or maybe, I wouldn't be on bout number 4. I'm off to a lung specialist next, because, seriously, this has to stop. Oh, and the doc yestererday mentioned that this might be mono, too. Yeah. No, I don't kiss any one but John, so no, I don't know how I got it. I went to San Francisco on a business trip with the guys...maybe I got it there. I don't know; I was healthy when I left OK, and I was sick before I got home. Who knows.
I hope to do more musical musings soon, but I don't know yet when...at the moment, being sick, I'm just taking each day as it comes, and going from there. Fortunately, the new job came with a laptop and the ability to work from home, so there's been little serious impact on my productivity that I haven't been able to work around. This is a very good thing. But alas, at the moment, my lungs are opting to leap out of my chest in yet another extended coughing fit (oh, wait, it passed, still...) so I'm going to cut this current stream-of-conciousness (or not) short, tell you all I'm still here, I still love all the same folks I loved before, and until you hear otherwise, that's pretty much not going to change.
See? That wasn't TOO painful, now was it?
Heather
Anyway.
OK, last time I posted, I had 2 kitties, 1 fish, a new puppy, and hopes that the heat had broken. I think Moe was still hanging on then anyway...
Moe didn't make it. Guess he knew his time was limited, and he floated finally. Poor Moe. I'd be more heartbroken if I hadn't bought him to amuse the cats anyway.
The break in the heat didn't really make it, either. We've not had a winter yet. In fact, if you're paying attention, and the news stops obsessing with the Left Coast long enough, you might notice that much of OK has burned in the past few months while a drought leaves us too parched to water willynilly, but fire dangers leave the risk of what happens if we don't water willynilly way too stinkin' high... I miss winter.
Bear's still here, and actually, so are Kit and Lady. Bear's been joined though, as of New Years Eve, by Grizzly, who looks like a bigger, redder version of the same dog. Grizzly taught Bear the fine art of running away multiple times a day, so we spent most of January trying to find new ways to keep the dogs in while they spent the time trying to find new ways of getting out. An electric fence has the problem almost solved, but they can still get out when we open the garage door...so we're still looking for a solution that will work there. Still, they're GORGEOUS dogs, very friendly, and so cheerfully, blissfully ignorant that running away is a bad thing when they get back (they LOVE car rides, the little stink pots)...we can't help ourselves; we love the little idiots. Actually...not so much little. Grizzly was 73 pounds when last we weighed him, and Bear was close to 30 pounds. They're very good at knocking me off my feet and dogpiling me...literally. Obedience school is coming in March....1 hour a week, for 8 weeks. Maybe we can get them to come when they're called, more than just when they're in the mood to...
John took a new job, leaving OneNet at the end of January. He'd been with them since Jan 01, so this is a BIG adjustment for him. It's with a new start up, and he's doing Wireless Internet Consulting. Actaully, at the moment, that means he's in Pittsburgh PA, planning to spend the morning driving all over Pittsburgh looking at trees and buildings and lights and towers to see what it will take to BUILD a wireless network for the entire city. When he gets home tomorrow, though, he gets a few weeks off from travelling, something we're both eager for.
I also took a new job, same company, different tune. See, the network guys go out and decide how to build their networks, then they come back, tell me what they saw, what that means, and I help write their reports and stuff. Anything that goes out anymore that required any writing prolly had a minimum of one of my fingers in it, at least to proof-read and grammar nit pick...stop laughing, really, I do well at my job!!
Jennifer moved to Beaver OK for about a month and then moved back to VA...but that meant I got to see my sweet Zoey bug again. My GOD, she's gorgeous. Yes, I am shamelessly in love with my neice. I adore all 9 of my neices, my nephew, and even the one on the way due this fall (Jen brought back something of her trip out here...but I met the daddy, and he seemed like a nice enough fellow, even if things didn't work out between them, sorry man!)
The current youngest neice, Emma, had heart surgery in January and is now home, recovering well. If you haven't been keeping up with Meredith's blog, you can do that here. Internet is amazing; I don't know that I could have stayed even remotely sane trying to keep up with the news from there without Meredy's updates to the web for us. My sister ROCKS. (Yes, all my sisters rock, thank you, I'm just citing one specific example at the moment :P ).
I'm now on my 4th (yes, FOURTH) bout of bronchitis for the 05-06 season. After the 3rd bout, I got the flu and pneumonia vaccines, and went in for allergy testing. 121 pin pricks later...I don't have to have allergy shots. That's something, at least. Alas, it didn't fix anything, or maybe, I wouldn't be on bout number 4. I'm off to a lung specialist next, because, seriously, this has to stop. Oh, and the doc yestererday mentioned that this might be mono, too. Yeah. No, I don't kiss any one but John, so no, I don't know how I got it. I went to San Francisco on a business trip with the guys...maybe I got it there. I don't know; I was healthy when I left OK, and I was sick before I got home. Who knows.
I hope to do more musical musings soon, but I don't know yet when...at the moment, being sick, I'm just taking each day as it comes, and going from there. Fortunately, the new job came with a laptop and the ability to work from home, so there's been little serious impact on my productivity that I haven't been able to work around. This is a very good thing. But alas, at the moment, my lungs are opting to leap out of my chest in yet another extended coughing fit (oh, wait, it passed, still...) so I'm going to cut this current stream-of-conciousness (or not) short, tell you all I'm still here, I still love all the same folks I loved before, and until you hear otherwise, that's pretty much not going to change.
See? That wasn't TOO painful, now was it?
Heather
11.14.2005
Finally
It's going to take all day for it to warm up into the low 70s today, and then once it cools off, it looks like it just won't warm up that much again.
It's about time; I've been waiting months for autumn, and winter is one of my favorite seasons. After all, it's far easier to warm up when you're cold than it is to cool off when you're hot.
In the meantime, 9 days from today is my 28th birthday. Friday night I'm going out with friends for dinner; we're calling it my birthday party. Some have said it's pathetic that I'm throwing my own party, but I don't remember ever having a birthday party. Now that John and I have friends we enjoy hanging out with, people we LOOK for reasons to spend time together, I'm excited by the prospect of celebrating each other's birthdays.
I need to go; the cat's nearly drunk the fish dry again, and I have to get ready for a busy day of subbing.
It's about time; I've been waiting months for autumn, and winter is one of my favorite seasons. After all, it's far easier to warm up when you're cold than it is to cool off when you're hot.
In the meantime, 9 days from today is my 28th birthday. Friday night I'm going out with friends for dinner; we're calling it my birthday party. Some have said it's pathetic that I'm throwing my own party, but I don't remember ever having a birthday party. Now that John and I have friends we enjoy hanging out with, people we LOOK for reasons to spend time together, I'm excited by the prospect of celebrating each other's birthdays.
I need to go; the cat's nearly drunk the fish dry again, and I have to get ready for a busy day of subbing.
11.11.2005
Tidbits and Bytes
There's a new blog I'm trying to keep up with.
Full disclosure: It's my husband's. I don't understand most of the nitpicky details, but it's his, so I follow it. ;)
Full disclosure: It's my husband's. I don't understand most of the nitpicky details, but it's his, so I follow it. ;)
11.04.2005
Musical Musings "Creed" Third Day/Rich Mullins
Artist: Third Day
Album: Offerings II: All I Have to Give
Track: Creed
I believe in God the Father
Almighty Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth
And in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son, our Lord
He was conceived by the Holy Spirit
Born of the virgin Mary
Suffered under Pontius Pilate
He was crucified and dead and buried
And I believe what I believe is what makes me what I am
I did not make it, no it is making me
It is the very truth of God and not the invention of any man
I believe that He who suffered was crucified, buried, and dead
He descended into hell and on the third day, rose again
He ascended into Heaven where He sits at God's mighty right hand
I believe that He's returning
To judge the quick and the dead of the sons of men
And I believe what I believe is what makes me what I am
I did not make it, no it is making me
It is the very truth of God and not the invention of any man
I believe it, I believe it
I believe it
I believe it, I believe it
I believe in God the Father
Almighty Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth
And in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son, our Lord
I believe in the Holy Spirit
One Holy Church
The communion of Saints
The forgiveness of sin
I believe in the resurrection
I believe in a life that never ends
And I believe what I believe is what makes me what I am
I did not make it, no it is making me
I did not make it, no it is making me
I said I did not make it, no it is making me
It is the very truth of God and not the invention of any man
I believe it, I believe
I believe it, I believe
I believe it, I believe it
I believe it, I believe it
I believe it, I believe it
I believe it
OK, to be fair, this one is over more than just a song, because the song is lifted from the Apostles' Creed, which dates from approximately 150AD, 50 years after the New Testament was finished. The word catholic refers not to the Roman Catholic Church, but rather to the Body of believers that is the single, universal church, seperate from denominational divisions.
I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
the Creator of heaven and earth,
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord:
Who was conceived of the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended into hell.
The third day He arose again from the dead.
He ascended into heaven
and sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty,
whence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and life everlasting.
Amen.
I sat here this morning, listening to music, and I tripped across this one in my playlist, and wanted to listen to it again. I've listened to it before, I love this song, but there was something in it this morning. It laid me open, laid me bare.
Before you ask why, read the creed, think about what it says. Think about the truth at the heart of it. If you're a believer, stop and think about what this creed states about our faith. Can you sing along with Rich Mullins and Third Day as they do? Do you understand that this is the Truth, the Living Word, spoken to us, to make us, and no man could have made it up if they tried?
I recently read Lee Strobel's The Case For Christ. I was a believer before I read it, but I walked away from the experience amazed at evidence I'd forgotten or never considered. In the book, Strobel (or more accurately, his interviewees) points out the reasons why the Bible is trustworthy, why we can have confidence not only in the Historical Jesus, but in his claim to be the Living God, the Risen Christ. If you have not yet, you should read this book.
So, I ask myself; Do I believe in God the Father? Do I believe He made Heaven and Earth? Do I believe in Jesus, the Son of God, the Son of Man, the Savior, Redeemer, and Judge? Do I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, the Breath of God? Do I believe that Jesus had a virgin birth from a fallible, human mother? Do I believe that He walked the earth, ministered to the lost, healed the sick, raised the dead? Do I believe that He was innocent, but bore the weight of my failures on the cross, where He died, even as He fulfilled prophecies written centuries before his birth? Do I believe that He was raised again, bearing the keys to hell and death and with the power that overcame both? Do I believe that, after appearances to over 500 witnesses some of whom touched Him, He ascended into Heaven? Do I believe that He will return again someday, and at His return, He will judge everyone, living or dead, including the believers? Do I believe He is who He claimed to be? Do I believe that this is the very Truth of God, sent to earth, sent into time to redeem us to Him?
If you've concluded that I do, you're right. The more important question though, is this: Do you?
Album: Offerings II: All I Have to Give
Track: Creed
I believe in God the Father
Almighty Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth
And in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son, our Lord
He was conceived by the Holy Spirit
Born of the virgin Mary
Suffered under Pontius Pilate
He was crucified and dead and buried
And I believe what I believe is what makes me what I am
I did not make it, no it is making me
It is the very truth of God and not the invention of any man
I believe that He who suffered was crucified, buried, and dead
He descended into hell and on the third day, rose again
He ascended into Heaven where He sits at God's mighty right hand
I believe that He's returning
To judge the quick and the dead of the sons of men
And I believe what I believe is what makes me what I am
I did not make it, no it is making me
It is the very truth of God and not the invention of any man
I believe it, I believe it
I believe it
I believe it, I believe it
I believe in God the Father
Almighty Maker of Heaven and Maker of Earth
And in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son, our Lord
I believe in the Holy Spirit
One Holy Church
The communion of Saints
The forgiveness of sin
I believe in the resurrection
I believe in a life that never ends
And I believe what I believe is what makes me what I am
I did not make it, no it is making me
I did not make it, no it is making me
I said I did not make it, no it is making me
It is the very truth of God and not the invention of any man
I believe it, I believe
I believe it, I believe
I believe it, I believe it
I believe it, I believe it
I believe it, I believe it
I believe it
OK, to be fair, this one is over more than just a song, because the song is lifted from the Apostles' Creed, which dates from approximately 150AD, 50 years after the New Testament was finished. The word catholic refers not to the Roman Catholic Church, but rather to the Body of believers that is the single, universal church, seperate from denominational divisions.
I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
the Creator of heaven and earth,
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord:
Who was conceived of the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended into hell.
The third day He arose again from the dead.
He ascended into heaven
and sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty,
whence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and life everlasting.
Amen.
I sat here this morning, listening to music, and I tripped across this one in my playlist, and wanted to listen to it again. I've listened to it before, I love this song, but there was something in it this morning. It laid me open, laid me bare.
Before you ask why, read the creed, think about what it says. Think about the truth at the heart of it. If you're a believer, stop and think about what this creed states about our faith. Can you sing along with Rich Mullins and Third Day as they do? Do you understand that this is the Truth, the Living Word, spoken to us, to make us, and no man could have made it up if they tried?
I recently read Lee Strobel's The Case For Christ. I was a believer before I read it, but I walked away from the experience amazed at evidence I'd forgotten or never considered. In the book, Strobel (or more accurately, his interviewees) points out the reasons why the Bible is trustworthy, why we can have confidence not only in the Historical Jesus, but in his claim to be the Living God, the Risen Christ. If you have not yet, you should read this book.
So, I ask myself; Do I believe in God the Father? Do I believe He made Heaven and Earth? Do I believe in Jesus, the Son of God, the Son of Man, the Savior, Redeemer, and Judge? Do I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, the Breath of God? Do I believe that Jesus had a virgin birth from a fallible, human mother? Do I believe that He walked the earth, ministered to the lost, healed the sick, raised the dead? Do I believe that He was innocent, but bore the weight of my failures on the cross, where He died, even as He fulfilled prophecies written centuries before his birth? Do I believe that He was raised again, bearing the keys to hell and death and with the power that overcame both? Do I believe that, after appearances to over 500 witnesses some of whom touched Him, He ascended into Heaven? Do I believe that He will return again someday, and at His return, He will judge everyone, living or dead, including the believers? Do I believe He is who He claimed to be? Do I believe that this is the very Truth of God, sent to earth, sent into time to redeem us to Him?
If you've concluded that I do, you're right. The more important question though, is this: Do you?
10.27.2005
New Addition
Sunday, October 2, 2005, John and I brought a new addition to our home. That morning, at church, we saw a very friendly, adorable little puppy. No one took him home, and it looked like he was abandoned (which happens at church, often). John said we could bring him home that afternoon, and we did. Bear looks like he's a shepherd/chow mix, is about 13 weeks old now, and is incredibly enthusiastic and friendly. Go to http://www.xanga.com/private/home.aspx?user=hjourdenjackson to see his picture!
9.09.2005
Morning Person
In case you ever wondered (and my family doesn't) I am SO not a morning person. I'm sitting here, "awake" at 6 am (ok, 6:15...I had to check my email first!), waiting for John to get out of the shower so I can get in, and all so I can go sub today. Now, don't get me wrong...I love to sub. I love the fact that it allows me to go back into the classroom, on my schedule. I get the joy of teaching without worrying about grading papers or writing lesson plans or holding parent-teacher conferences...at the moment, these are all very good things. And yes, by the time I get to the children, I'll be awake, really and truly. But right now, it's dark outside, my head hurts from the light I have to turn on to wake up, and my bed is screaming for me to come back to it for another couple of hours. Oh well, no one said being a responsible adult was easy.
I don't know if I'm a night owl, but since it's WAAAAAAAY easier for me to stay up late than it is to get up early, I'd guess that's me. Either way...if you see me before 8, I'm not actually awake yet. I may be functional, but I'm not awake. And no, I don't drink coffee, and it wouldn't help even if I did.
John's out, which means it's my turn to get a nice, hot shower...that might actually wake me up...
I don't know if I'm a night owl, but since it's WAAAAAAAY easier for me to stay up late than it is to get up early, I'd guess that's me. Either way...if you see me before 8, I'm not actually awake yet. I may be functional, but I'm not awake. And no, I don't drink coffee, and it wouldn't help even if I did.
John's out, which means it's my turn to get a nice, hot shower...that might actually wake me up...
9.01.2005
The Tragedy Katrina Revealed
Let me begin by saying that my heart breaks for the families and lives affected by Katrina and everything that has come since. I cannot even begin to imagine the nightmare you're living through now, and I know that there are entire families who have lost their lives this week...I grieve for you all. And yes, I have sent aid, thought I, myself, am unable to go and help. Please know that America supports you.
Now: What is happening in New Orleans right now is completely unacceptable. There are people stranded there who will probably die before they can be rescued because of the violence. People who have lost everything and are desperately seeking refuge are finding instead murder, rape, and rampant violence. Rescuers are being shot at instead of being appreciated or assisted. Men and women are shamelessly stealing everything that isn't nailed down...and no, I'm not worried about those who are stealing food to feed their families. These are the idiots stealing electronics and valuables. This is beyond shameful.
This behavior is why so many in the world call America the "evil empire"; it's this behavior that proves their point. This is when America should be gathering her strength and taking care of her people. This is when we should see the best of people, not their worst.
Of course, as I write this, I know that none of the people directly affected can see it...so if you're in a position to read this, you're also in a position to help them. Pray for the safety of the rescuers and the refugees. Pray that these people who've opted for anarchy and mayhem will come to their senses and stop hampering rescue efforts. Pray that those still stranded will be found before it's too late to help them. PRAY. If you can, GO. Go to the people and volunteer your time and energy. Look for survivors, look for ways to serve these survivors and the rescuers. Go and give of yourself in whatever way you can so you can show the refugees that life is worth living, and they will be able to find a way to go on when this is over. If you can't go, give. Give monitarily to the Red Cross. Seek out your local place of worship and see what they can suggest to getting aid to the people. Go to the Salvation Army and see what they can suggest. Go buy diapers, baby food, water, formula, toys for those children, clothing they can wear, clothing for the adults, baby wipes to clean bottoms and bodies; SOMEONE in your community will be able to tell you where and how to get things to them...or maybe, your local Salvation Army or homeless shelters can use these supplies and free up funds to send to relief efforts locally.
And yes, there is good happening. The refugees are being fed by volunteers, they're being taken to safety, and housing is being found as best as it can be. These people are worth fighting for, and they are being fought for.
The looters and rioters are trying to give this nation a black eye. If we will pour ourselves out for these who have lost everything, we can prove that this is a nation worth fighting for.
It's up to you. What are you going to do?
Now: What is happening in New Orleans right now is completely unacceptable. There are people stranded there who will probably die before they can be rescued because of the violence. People who have lost everything and are desperately seeking refuge are finding instead murder, rape, and rampant violence. Rescuers are being shot at instead of being appreciated or assisted. Men and women are shamelessly stealing everything that isn't nailed down...and no, I'm not worried about those who are stealing food to feed their families. These are the idiots stealing electronics and valuables. This is beyond shameful.
This behavior is why so many in the world call America the "evil empire"; it's this behavior that proves their point. This is when America should be gathering her strength and taking care of her people. This is when we should see the best of people, not their worst.
Of course, as I write this, I know that none of the people directly affected can see it...so if you're in a position to read this, you're also in a position to help them. Pray for the safety of the rescuers and the refugees. Pray that these people who've opted for anarchy and mayhem will come to their senses and stop hampering rescue efforts. Pray that those still stranded will be found before it's too late to help them. PRAY. If you can, GO. Go to the people and volunteer your time and energy. Look for survivors, look for ways to serve these survivors and the rescuers. Go and give of yourself in whatever way you can so you can show the refugees that life is worth living, and they will be able to find a way to go on when this is over. If you can't go, give. Give monitarily to the Red Cross. Seek out your local place of worship and see what they can suggest to getting aid to the people. Go to the Salvation Army and see what they can suggest. Go buy diapers, baby food, water, formula, toys for those children, clothing they can wear, clothing for the adults, baby wipes to clean bottoms and bodies; SOMEONE in your community will be able to tell you where and how to get things to them...or maybe, your local Salvation Army or homeless shelters can use these supplies and free up funds to send to relief efforts locally.
And yes, there is good happening. The refugees are being fed by volunteers, they're being taken to safety, and housing is being found as best as it can be. These people are worth fighting for, and they are being fought for.
The looters and rioters are trying to give this nation a black eye. If we will pour ourselves out for these who have lost everything, we can prove that this is a nation worth fighting for.
It's up to you. What are you going to do?
7.26.2005
Random Morbid List
OK, so the things ON the list aren't so much the morbid bit here, it's what the list is for...and I reserve the right to grow it at anytime in the future...in fact, I'm certain it will grow. Somethings may drop off, others may replace them, or maybe it'll just grow and grow and grow...we'll see.
So why is the list morbid? It's a list of songs I'd like at my funeral. Maybe they're preludes, maybe they're before or after, or at the reception, (wake, whatever)...but these are songs I like, songs that I think do a good job of expressing how I feel about life or grieving, or loss or whatever. I just like them, and I think they'd be appropriate at a funeral.
And no, I don't think I'm going to be dead anytime soon, nor am I even remotely suicidal. Just...Odd. But then, if you know me, you knew that.
So, in no particular order and without any further ado: The first 3 entries
Mercy Me, Homesick
Natalie Grant, Held
Cindy Morgan, How Could I Ask for More
So why is the list morbid? It's a list of songs I'd like at my funeral. Maybe they're preludes, maybe they're before or after, or at the reception, (wake, whatever)...but these are songs I like, songs that I think do a good job of expressing how I feel about life or grieving, or loss or whatever. I just like them, and I think they'd be appropriate at a funeral.
And no, I don't think I'm going to be dead anytime soon, nor am I even remotely suicidal. Just...Odd. But then, if you know me, you knew that.
So, in no particular order and without any further ado: The first 3 entries
Mercy Me, Homesick
Natalie Grant, Held
Cindy Morgan, How Could I Ask for More
Musical Musings: "Your Love is EXtravagant", Casting Crowns
Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant
Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again
Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant
Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known You considered me a friend
Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again
Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
In case you haven't figured this out yet, I usually muse about songs I like. This is one of them. It's simple, it's lovely, and even if it is a bit repetitive...there are worse things to repeat.
God's love as extravagant. Have you ever paired "extravagant" with God before? Had it ever occurred to you? American Heritage Dictionary defines extravagant in some interesting ways.
extravagant adj.
Given to lavish or imprudent expenditure: extravagant members of the imperial court.
Exceeding reasonable bounds: extravagant demands.
Extremely abundant; profuse: extravagant vegetation.
Unreasonably high; exorbitant: extravagant fees.
Archaic. Straying beyond limits or bounds; wandering.
God's love as lavish? Exceeding resonable bounds? Extremely abundant, profuse? Even exorbitant or straying beyound the limits or bounds. Have you ever thought of God's love that way before?
Yet that's what He is, that's exactly how to describe His love. I've long said that the Bible, from cover to cover, is a love story. It's the expression of God's love for us and the lengths to which He's gone to demonstrate it to us. You see love in the moment of creation, and I can almost hear the way the Word caressed the words spoken "Let us make man in our image". Can you hear the love there? "Come on, Dad...let's make them like us!" Oh, you can't? How about when you remember that creation was undertaken knowing that Man would stumble, would fall. Knowing that the death of Christ on the cross would be necessary to redeem us, listen to Him again. "Come on, Dad...Let's make them like us!" You don't hear God tempering love there...you don't hear the thing I think when I hear that. "Are you sure? You know it will cost your life to redeem them again. They'll hate you, they'll beat you, and they'll kill you. Are you sure you want to make them?" It's not until later you realize the extravagance of love that says "I know what's coming, I know what they'll do...and I love them, Dad, you love them, I love them, and I could no more not love them than I could cease to exist. Come on, Dad...Let's make them like us!"
What about in Daniel, Chapter 10? Christ appears to Daniel in a vision, and when He speaks to Daniel, he says "You who are treasured by God..." Treasured by God! Or John 3:16? God loved the world SO much that He gave His only Son!
John 13 introduces the last days, the last hours of Christ's life, his crucifixion, and his resurrection. The first verse...and this makes me cry, just to read it... John 13:1 says "Having loved His own who were in the world, He now showed them the full extent of His love." He washed their feet, but I think the love he showed them encompassed far more than that simple act of service. I think that statement...that He showed the full extent of His love...John's referring to the crucifixion.
Giving your life for the one you love. That exceeds reasonable bounds, that pays an exorbitant price. That's extravagance at it's best.
There are some reading this now who don't understand what I'm blathering on about, not yet, anyway. But I'm praying for you, dear reader, those who understand me as well as those who don't, that you may come to know just how extravagant God's love is. I'm praying that you will see what Jesus did when He showed the full extent of His love. I want you to fall in love with the Savior who's given everything for love of you.
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant
Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again
Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant
Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known You considered me a friend
Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again
Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
In case you haven't figured this out yet, I usually muse about songs I like. This is one of them. It's simple, it's lovely, and even if it is a bit repetitive...there are worse things to repeat.
God's love as extravagant. Have you ever paired "extravagant" with God before? Had it ever occurred to you? American Heritage Dictionary defines extravagant in some interesting ways.
extravagant adj.
Given to lavish or imprudent expenditure: extravagant members of the imperial court.
Exceeding reasonable bounds: extravagant demands.
Extremely abundant; profuse: extravagant vegetation.
Unreasonably high; exorbitant: extravagant fees.
Archaic. Straying beyond limits or bounds; wandering.
God's love as lavish? Exceeding resonable bounds? Extremely abundant, profuse? Even exorbitant or straying beyound the limits or bounds. Have you ever thought of God's love that way before?
Yet that's what He is, that's exactly how to describe His love. I've long said that the Bible, from cover to cover, is a love story. It's the expression of God's love for us and the lengths to which He's gone to demonstrate it to us. You see love in the moment of creation, and I can almost hear the way the Word caressed the words spoken "Let us make man in our image". Can you hear the love there? "Come on, Dad...let's make them like us!" Oh, you can't? How about when you remember that creation was undertaken knowing that Man would stumble, would fall. Knowing that the death of Christ on the cross would be necessary to redeem us, listen to Him again. "Come on, Dad...Let's make them like us!" You don't hear God tempering love there...you don't hear the thing I think when I hear that. "Are you sure? You know it will cost your life to redeem them again. They'll hate you, they'll beat you, and they'll kill you. Are you sure you want to make them?" It's not until later you realize the extravagance of love that says "I know what's coming, I know what they'll do...and I love them, Dad, you love them, I love them, and I could no more not love them than I could cease to exist. Come on, Dad...Let's make them like us!"
What about in Daniel, Chapter 10? Christ appears to Daniel in a vision, and when He speaks to Daniel, he says "You who are treasured by God..." Treasured by God! Or John 3:16? God loved the world SO much that He gave His only Son!
John 13 introduces the last days, the last hours of Christ's life, his crucifixion, and his resurrection. The first verse...and this makes me cry, just to read it... John 13:1 says "Having loved His own who were in the world, He now showed them the full extent of His love." He washed their feet, but I think the love he showed them encompassed far more than that simple act of service. I think that statement...that He showed the full extent of His love...John's referring to the crucifixion.
Giving your life for the one you love. That exceeds reasonable bounds, that pays an exorbitant price. That's extravagance at it's best.
There are some reading this now who don't understand what I'm blathering on about, not yet, anyway. But I'm praying for you, dear reader, those who understand me as well as those who don't, that you may come to know just how extravagant God's love is. I'm praying that you will see what Jesus did when He showed the full extent of His love. I want you to fall in love with the Savior who's given everything for love of you.
7.25.2005
Musical Musings: "Held", Natlie Grant
Natalie Grant - Held
From the album Awaken
Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To Think That Providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our Savior
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
This is what it means to be held
and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
I don't really know where to start on this one. I'd heard it before, but when Katherine sang it in church yesterday, it resonated with me, and I've been thinking of it ever since.
I think we all forget sometimes that, just because a Christian is saved, just because they have the abundant life that Jesus promises (John 10:10), that we'll never have trials, never have difficult days. We forget that Jesus told us plainly that we would have troubles (John 16:33), but not to worry, because He overcame the world. The promise was never that we wouldn't have troubles, that we wouldn't have trials and heartbreaks. That's the point of Job; God never told him why He allowed Job to suffer. It didn't matter. The question isn't why do we suffer, it's how do we respond to suffering?
We all have things in our lives that seem terribly unfair. There are things that happen in and around us that any attempt to explain away just belittles. There are hurts that shatter the heart beyond our own ability to imagine how they'll ever be healed. Chances are good you know exactly what I'm talking about, you've survived a hurt like this, or you're still struggling through it.
Infertility is proving to be one of those heart-shattering hurts. I've dreamt of my children, woken from my sleep to find my dream so vivid, so real, that I had cradled my dream child in my sleep. I've named them. I ache to hold them, and yet I wonder more and more often if I ever will. I don't question whether God can give me children, I don't question if He is in control in the midst of this. I know He is. I know that, if and when He's ready for my husband and I to have children, it will happen, and we'll concieve. But in the day to day, faith in God in the salve I have to soothe this mother's heart that bleeds within me.
This is what it means to be held. Not to be kept from hurt, but to be held through it. This is what it is to be loved, and to walk each moment, each hour, each day, in faith that God is in control, and that nothing can seperate us from that love...not even the deepest heartaches.
The promise was when everything fell, we'd be held.
From the album Awaken
Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To Think That Providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our Savior
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
This is what it means to be held
and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
I don't really know where to start on this one. I'd heard it before, but when Katherine sang it in church yesterday, it resonated with me, and I've been thinking of it ever since.
I think we all forget sometimes that, just because a Christian is saved, just because they have the abundant life that Jesus promises (John 10:10), that we'll never have trials, never have difficult days. We forget that Jesus told us plainly that we would have troubles (John 16:33), but not to worry, because He overcame the world. The promise was never that we wouldn't have troubles, that we wouldn't have trials and heartbreaks. That's the point of Job; God never told him why He allowed Job to suffer. It didn't matter. The question isn't why do we suffer, it's how do we respond to suffering?
We all have things in our lives that seem terribly unfair. There are things that happen in and around us that any attempt to explain away just belittles. There are hurts that shatter the heart beyond our own ability to imagine how they'll ever be healed. Chances are good you know exactly what I'm talking about, you've survived a hurt like this, or you're still struggling through it.
Infertility is proving to be one of those heart-shattering hurts. I've dreamt of my children, woken from my sleep to find my dream so vivid, so real, that I had cradled my dream child in my sleep. I've named them. I ache to hold them, and yet I wonder more and more often if I ever will. I don't question whether God can give me children, I don't question if He is in control in the midst of this. I know He is. I know that, if and when He's ready for my husband and I to have children, it will happen, and we'll concieve. But in the day to day, faith in God in the salve I have to soothe this mother's heart that bleeds within me.
This is what it means to be held. Not to be kept from hurt, but to be held through it. This is what it is to be loved, and to walk each moment, each hour, each day, in faith that God is in control, and that nothing can seperate us from that love...not even the deepest heartaches.
The promise was when everything fell, we'd be held.
6.14.2005
Musical Musings: "Ordinary People", John Legend
Girl I'm in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday
I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way
I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
I watch Daria on the-N, which follws each show with a music video, and therefore serves as an introduction to new music for me. (Please hold all cracks about my watching tweeny-bopper TV until the end.) Anyway, I saw this video at the end of an episode, and that episode is saved on my TiVo so I can listen to this song (until I make a point of going out to buy the album, anyway). It's rather minimalistic; the whole thing is shot in black and white. A man in a stark white room walks up to a gorgeous black grand piano (a Baldwin for those of you who care) drinking a glass of clear liquid. Setting the glass down and sitting down at the keyboard, he begins to play a simple melody complemented by a catchy rythym. As he sings, we rotate around him to see things going on around him. The first is a couple in the middle of a screaming argument. At the worst of it, she shoves him, and we see him slap her (though the actual impact of his hand on her face isn't seen, the lead up and reaction tell you what happened). The next couple is fighting with a little boy nearby, covering his ears so he doesn't have to hear them. She runs for the boy, grabs him up as though to leave. But he blocks her way, they fight while she holds the child, and at the worst of it, he tears the child from her arms, leaving her screaming. Next we see two women arguing, one younger than the other (I assume the younger is a teenager) walk up to an older man, and he joins the argument. You see the regret and hurt on all of their faces as they try to sort out what nexts, all of this while Legend plays the piano. The music swells and he is joined by a string section (20 more musicians) playing with him. You see the families making up, at peace, and most of them, wearing smiles.
I like the message I see here. It's positive, it's family building, and it's about the work it takes to make relationships work. Do I like the physical confrontations? Not at all...but in many families, this is the truth of fights. The first couple shouldn't be getting physically violent with each other, but neither of them is more guilty than the other (from the images we're shown). The second couple should consider their son before they fight, and he should never be dragged into a fight the way he is. But again, in many families, it happens this way. but the message in the song and in the images is the same either way: Love isn't always about feeling good or mushy-gushy. Eventually, love grows beyond "the infatuation phase"...and when it gets there, everyone involved has to work at it. We have a tendency to run headlong into things, and this song proposes slowing life down enough to work out the problems instead of just running from them. The writer doesn't deny that we feel like giving up, or even that some relationships can't survive the differences between people. But it reminds us from the title and through the song "We're just ordinary people". None of us has all the answers, and we all have different ways of seeing the same situations. He simply advises that we take time, make time, to fight for love, each remembering that the other knows no more about how to make things work than they, themselves, do.
We're just ordinary people; we don't know which way to go. Maybe we should take it slow. Are you?
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday
I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way
I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
I watch Daria on the-N, which follws each show with a music video, and therefore serves as an introduction to new music for me. (Please hold all cracks about my watching tweeny-bopper TV until the end.) Anyway, I saw this video at the end of an episode, and that episode is saved on my TiVo so I can listen to this song (until I make a point of going out to buy the album, anyway). It's rather minimalistic; the whole thing is shot in black and white. A man in a stark white room walks up to a gorgeous black grand piano (a Baldwin for those of you who care) drinking a glass of clear liquid. Setting the glass down and sitting down at the keyboard, he begins to play a simple melody complemented by a catchy rythym. As he sings, we rotate around him to see things going on around him. The first is a couple in the middle of a screaming argument. At the worst of it, she shoves him, and we see him slap her (though the actual impact of his hand on her face isn't seen, the lead up and reaction tell you what happened). The next couple is fighting with a little boy nearby, covering his ears so he doesn't have to hear them. She runs for the boy, grabs him up as though to leave. But he blocks her way, they fight while she holds the child, and at the worst of it, he tears the child from her arms, leaving her screaming. Next we see two women arguing, one younger than the other (I assume the younger is a teenager) walk up to an older man, and he joins the argument. You see the regret and hurt on all of their faces as they try to sort out what nexts, all of this while Legend plays the piano. The music swells and he is joined by a string section (20 more musicians) playing with him. You see the families making up, at peace, and most of them, wearing smiles.
I like the message I see here. It's positive, it's family building, and it's about the work it takes to make relationships work. Do I like the physical confrontations? Not at all...but in many families, this is the truth of fights. The first couple shouldn't be getting physically violent with each other, but neither of them is more guilty than the other (from the images we're shown). The second couple should consider their son before they fight, and he should never be dragged into a fight the way he is. But again, in many families, it happens this way. but the message in the song and in the images is the same either way: Love isn't always about feeling good or mushy-gushy. Eventually, love grows beyond "the infatuation phase"...and when it gets there, everyone involved has to work at it. We have a tendency to run headlong into things, and this song proposes slowing life down enough to work out the problems instead of just running from them. The writer doesn't deny that we feel like giving up, or even that some relationships can't survive the differences between people. But it reminds us from the title and through the song "We're just ordinary people". None of us has all the answers, and we all have different ways of seeing the same situations. He simply advises that we take time, make time, to fight for love, each remembering that the other knows no more about how to make things work than they, themselves, do.
We're just ordinary people; we don't know which way to go. Maybe we should take it slow. Are you?
2.25.2005
Isn't She Lovely!
This is my Zoeybug.No, she's not my daughter, she's my neice. I have other neices and nephews, but Zoey has been different for me somehow. This is the first little one who is related to me by blood, and that may be what makes her so different. And, I don't want you to think that I am less proud of the others; I dote on all my neices and nephew, I love them all.
But I'm sitting here tonight, looking at the pictures my sister sent of Zoey, and I have this Stevie Wonder song playing through my skull. I assume he wrote it for his daughter, Aisha, but I hope he'll forgive me for singing it for Zoey.
"Isn't She Lovely"
Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderful
Isn't she precious
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love we'd be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn't she lovely made from love
Isn't she pretty
Truly the angel's best
Boy, I'm so happy
We have been heaven blessed
I can't believe what God has done
Through us he's given life to one
But isn't she lovely made from love
Isn't she lovely
Life and love are the same
Life is Aisha
The meaning of her name
Londie, it could have not been done
Without you who conceived the one
That's so very lovely made from love
Now, I like this song, and as I said, it keeps playing through my head...but when I get to the third stanza, I hear "Life is my Zoey, the meaning of her name..." and of course, I delight and thrill again...because Zoey's name comes from the greek word, zoe, which DOES mean life.
Well, all of this comes back to something I keep thinking, something that I've realised as I sit here thrilling in her sheer existance. You see, Zoey was born in July, and she lives 1500 miles away from me, so I've only ever seen her in the first two weeks of her life. Oh, those weeks I could be there, as I held her, as I rocked her and fed her and just adored her, everything was right. Here was this tiny little person, this little baby girl, and she could do nothing to make me love her, nothing to earn my adoration, and yet I could do nothing but love her. It thrilled my heart to hold her close, to kiss her head, to rock her to sleep, to watch her tiny face. And now, almost 8 months later, she still can do nothing to earn my love. I haven't seen her since then, and only now got more recent pictures of her. I am sitting here, looking at her picture, looking at her smile, at the gorgeous head full of blonde hair, and I am thrilled again in her existance. Just that Zoey IS is enough to delight my heart.
And that's when I realised that, the way I love her, the way I delight in her, is a portrait, however incomplete, of how God loves us. He doesn't require us to do or be anything to earn His love, just that we exist is reason enough. My God is thrilled that I am, just as I am thrilled that Zoey is.
When I see that kind of love, when I realise that I am loved the way I love her...I find that there is nothing I would not do for the one who loves me. I can think of nothing I would not do to delight Him, to add to His reasons to love me. I never want to disappoint Him, to hurt Him. This is why I live in obedience to His Word, not because I must to earn His approval, but because as I am here, secure in this pure and simple delight and love, I want nothing more than to continue to delight Him.
Thank you, God, for using my beautiful little Zoeybug to teach me more about You!
Isn't she lovely? Isn't He wonderful?
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